Inside: Have you ever shared an anecdote from your life that you later discovered wasn’t true? I have, and here’s what I learned from it. ~
My whole adult life, as far back as I can remember, I told a little story that went something like this.
I registered to vote before I turned 18 and voted for the first time—in a presidential election, no less—on my actual birthday. (This was before universal early voting was allowed in Kansas; until the law changed in 1995, everyone voted on Election Day unless they had a reason to vote absentee.)
I always thought it was cool that I had cast my first ballot for U.S. president on my 18th birthday. Naturally, I shared the story with my daughters when they were getting ready to vote, and with friends when election season was under way.
Unexpected Discovery
Last year, when Election Day once again fell on my birthday, I decided to see how many other times that had happened in my life. To my great shock, I discovered the story I had been telling all these years wasn’t true.
My birthday has been on Election Day a few times, but not in 1988, when I voted that first time.
I have no idea when I started telling this story, or why. I did experience some relational upheaval that same week of my teenage life, so maybe that affected my memory.
What I know for sure is this: All those years, I believed a lie. And I shared that lie with others, many times.
More Questions
I had no reason to think this memory wasn’t accurate, and yet, it wasn’t.
Not surprisingly, this brought up all sorts of questions for me. What else do I believe about my life that isn’t true? I share a lot of personal stories here on the blog as well as in real life; should I start questioning all of them too?
Upon further reflection, I’d say probably not. Going back to my years of news reporting, I’ve always tried to be as accurate as possible in my writing and speaking, and one incident doesn’t negate any of that.
Plus, memory is a complicated thing, even when everything else is working properly. If you’ve ever had a loved one with Alzheimer’s or some other kind of dementia, perhaps you’ve seen how misremembering works when disease is involved. It’s confusing, to say the least, and can lead to some troubling interactions.
Helpful Takeaways
My made-up story didn’t hurt anyone, so in the grand scheme of life, perhaps it’s not that big of a deal. But I still think there are a few helpful takeaways we can glean from it.
• We are not infallible, and neither are our memories.
• There’s a difference between purposeful deception and simple human error.
• Do your best to give grace to people who misremember. Don’t assume they are trying to pull the wool over your eyes.
• When you discover you were wrong about something, humbly offer an update. “I told you this the other day; I’ve since learned this.”
• If someone has a memory about situation that differs from yours, try this response: “I could be wrong, but this is how I remember it.”
• When in doubt about any of this, make Psalm 43:3 your regular prayer: “Send your light and your truth; let them lead me.”
What Really Happened
Speaking of truth, there have been two presidential elections on my birthday since I started voting—in 1996 and 2024. I don’t remember casting a ballot in the first one (though I probably did), and I voted early last year.
As for 1988, the election was on Nov. 8, several days after my birthday. I’m pretty sure I voted at city hall that day, but it could have been somewhere else.
That’s my new story and I’m sticking to it. (Unless someone gives me a good reason to do otherwise.)
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Have you ever told a story that you later discovered wasn’t true? Did you learn anything from the experience? Please tell us about it in the comments.
♥ Lois
We are not infallible, and neither are our memories. Share on X When you discover you were wrong about something, humbly offer an update. 'I told you this the other day; I’ve since then learned this.' Share on XP.S. I’m linking up this week with #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.