Inside: We don’t like to see our kids struggle. But God often uses the hard and hurtful stuff to direct their steps and build their character, no matter how old they are. ~
When children are little, it’s fairly easy to manage much of what they do, see and hear. As parents, we are the primary gatekeepers for what reaches them. And though bad influences can and sometimes do creep in, it’s not so hard to quash them.
The older they get, however, the more they start to think for themselves. This is as it should be, but the thoughts they start thinking don’t always line up with the thoughts we may want them to think.
They also start to experience more struggles—issues with friends, unmet expectations, problems in school, emotional swings, physical pain, and so on.
I didn’t worry about all these scenarios when my girls were younger, but a few of them had the potential to send me into orbit.
Worrisome What-ifs
Once when I was particularly spun up—to the point of extrapolating my fears into ridiculous future outcomes—I heard a sermon that transformed my thinking about the matter. One of the elders at my church was preaching about God’s sovereignty and used an experience from his daughter’s childhood to illustrate how God brings good from bad.
His daughter suffered an injury when she was younger that led to years of pain and difficult rehabilitation. As he talked about how her interactions with caring medical professionals later led her to become a nurse, I had an a-ha moment.
Would God have put our family together the way He did—by allowing us to bring home two very specific babies from China at two different times—just to disappear from our lives when the going got a bit rough? I asked myself.
And are any struggles they may have—in any area—enough to negate the plans He has for their lives, whatever they may entail?
God’s Tools
The answer to both, of course, is absolutely not. In fact, those struggles might be the very tools He uses to form my daughters into what He designed them to be before they were ever born.
Struggles build character. They force perseverance. They foster patience. They develop compassion.
All I have to do is look at my own life for proof.
I was a good kid. I followed all the “rules.” But back then, my faith walk was more of a “works walk.” My being a Christian was more about what I did or didn’t do than a personal relationship with Jesus.
I’m not necessarily complaining about this. I’m grateful for the pain I may have been spared because I was so strictly adhering to my do-not-do list.
Impetus for Spiritual Growth
But it wasn’t until I was an adult that I experienced anything close to what you might call spiritual growth. And you know what brought on those growth spurts?
It was trouble. It took on various forms, but no matter the trial, it was during those times when I started learning what it means to walk by faith and not by sight, what it means to die to myself so that others may experience life, what it means to live like Jesus is enough.
(Notice I said “started learning.” This is an ongoing process, sometimes marked by progress, sometimes by the exact opposite.)
Even So …
As a mom, I still wish there was some way for my children to avoid all that trouble and struggle. I’d prefer to shield them from pain and loss and challenging math problems. Not just because I don’t want them to hurt, but because—many times—it is also easier for me.
Avoiding trouble isn’t necessarily best for my girls, however—or for your kids, if you have them.
This might make us moms cringe a bit, because we don’t know what kinds of trouble may be in store for our sons and daughters, especially after they leave home.
God is Still Working
We will always be our children’s parents and will never stop loving and praying for them. But there is a Power much greater than us at work in them. And that should bring us comfort and hope—no matter how old they are.
If they are believers, God—their heavenly Father—is with them. He is for them. He loves them unconditionally.
None of that changes when they become teenagers, go off to college, get married or turn 21 (or 35 or 50). Nor will it ever change, for them, for me or for you.
♥ Lois
Some of our kids’ struggles may be very the tools God uses to form them into what He designed them to be before they were ever born. Share on X If our children are believers, God—their heavenly Father—is with them. He is for them. He loves them unconditionally. Share on XP.S. I’m linking up this week with #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.