4 Ways to Respond When Your Prayers Go Unanswered

by Lois Flowers

Inside: “When is God going to answer my prayer?” If you’ve ever asked this question, the following steps may encourage you and help you move forward as you wait. ~

I get a little antsy when an answer I am expecting takes longer than expected to arrive. OK, maybe antsy isn’t quite the right adjective. Anxious, irritable, practically beside myself with frustration—that’s more like it.

The longer the delay, the more agitated I become, until I want to bang my head against a brick wall in frustration. It’s not pretty, let me tell you.

Most of these issues get resolved eventually, which sends my stress level down to a more manageable range. But this scenario—which happened again just a few weeks ago—reminds me of prayer, especially heartfelt, pressing pleas that seem to go unanswered.

Is God Even Listening?

You know what I’m talking about, right? Those requests that you faithfully take to God day after day and month after month, with no apparent result or even any indication that He is actually listening?

It’s not like you’re asking Him to do something beyond the realm of His control. He’s omnipotent, after all. He simply has to speak the word and whatever it is that you’re asking Him to do will happen.

But when He doesn’t—for reasons known only to Him—it gets to be a bit much after awhile, doesn’t it? Maybe even to the point where giving up—on praying or even on God Himself—might seem like the most logical course of action.

The best plan isn’t always the most logical one, of course. I can’t tell you how or why God does what He does, but when answers to pressing prayer needs are not forthcoming, the following four steps might help you move forward.

• Focus on God’s Character

Who God is does not change with our feelings or circumstances. So try to turn your attention away from the notion that your prayer isn’t being answered and center it directly on what you know to be true about God—His character, His sovereignty, His love for you.

You wouldn’t let a child you love experience something painful—something that was within your power to change—if you didn’t have a good reason for it, would you? Nor does our perfect and wise heavenly Father allow hard things to happen our lives if He doesn’t have a reason for them.

There is always purpose, even if we can’t see it.

• Look for Answers in Other Areas

Just recently, while devoting a lot of energy to praying for the trial that was most current and urgent, I started noticing some obvious answers about a few issues that I have quietly prayed about for years. It was almost a relief to see evidence of the fact that, while my heart was consumed with one situation, God had been working in others all along.

• Count Your Blessings

There’s nothing new about this one. But when you intentionally look for something—anything—that you are thankful for, you’re sure to find it.

Finding one blessing makes you notice another, until you gradually start seeing God’s touches everywhere. And if you record them in a journal or on your phone, you’ll have examples of His faithfulness at your fingertips when your faith starts to waver.

• Keep Praying

Resist the temptation to give God the silent treatment, even if it feels like He’s giving it to you. Keep the lines of communication open and the words flowing. And, as hard as it might be, don’t limit your conversation with him to that One Big Request.

Maybe the delay will make sense to you someday; maybe it never will. In either case, you can rest in the confidence that the One who holds the answer hears every prayer and loves you with an everlasting love.

 Lois

Who God is does not change with our feelings or circumstances. Share on X Resist the temptation to give God the silent treatment, even if it feels like He’s giving it to you. Keep the lines of communication open and the words flowing. Share on X

P.S. I’m linking up this week with #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragementsLet’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.

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14 comments

Bethany McIlrath July 28, 2024 - 10:24 am

It amazes me how often what you post is timely for me, friend. Thank you for this powerful encouragement!

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Lois Flowers August 3, 2024 - 9:46 am

You’re welcome, Bethany. Hugs, friend.

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Lisa notes July 26, 2024 - 2:14 pm

I keep thinking I should restart keeping a gratitude journal again so I can do your tip #3, count my blessings. I’ve been doing it in my head again on a regular basis for a few weeks, but I might be more apt to remember if I pulled out a journal to keep them in (I definitely have a few empty ones laying around! ha). Thanks for this beautiful post, Lois.

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Lois Flowers July 26, 2024 - 7:29 pm

Thank you, friend. I’ve been trying to find blessings too … it seems to help during my current of many changes, some expected and others not.

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Donna July 24, 2024 - 5:19 pm

Lois at one time or another we will await an answer from God which is long[er] in coming than we expected. I have battled these feelings of anxiety you mention, in addition to simply giving God the silent treatment.

But in the end, your advice to focus on God’s character is where I land. God is always only good. And as a good Father will withhold no good gift from me. So, if the answer I am awaiting is not forthcoming, I must trust in His unfailing love for me until He sees fit to show me the answer to my prayer.

Having said that, I also know when I focus on an expected outcome, I miss the unexpected answer, because it’s not the one I am looking for. I would add in the wait to loosely hold my expected “answer” and while simply trusting God to meet my need/request I may be surprised that He already has; it just doesn’t look the way I expected.

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Lois Flowers July 26, 2024 - 7:26 pm

I love the perspective you have shared, Donna. To hold our expected answers loosely and trust that God will meet our needs as He sees fit, often in surprising ways. This is a message I need to hold close to my heart right now, dear friend.

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Joanne Viola July 24, 2024 - 11:19 am

Lois, it has been a few weeks that I have been in Habakkuk, which is also my favorite book of the Bible 🙂 He repeatedly reminds me that the Lord is always on His throne, His ways are everlasting, and even though the answer may be delayed (in my mind), He will respond at just the right time. Habakkuk reminds me to keep waiting and watching faithfully. This post was such lovely encouragement today!

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Lois Flowers July 26, 2024 - 7:22 pm

I’m glad you were encouraged, Joanne. And I am equally as encouraged by the lessons you’ve shared from Habakkuk. “Keep waiting and watching faithfully.” Amen to that!

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Barbara Harper July 23, 2024 - 3:42 pm

I’ve often wondered why God told some people in the Bible about something that was coming up a long way ahead. Like Abraham and Sarah when they were told they’d have a son several years before it actually happened with no clue to them that it was going to happen so far in the future. As human parents, we learn not to tell our children too much about upcoming plans so they can contain their excitement and we don’t have to answer hundreds of questions while we wait. But maybe God doesn’t mind the questions. 🙂 More likely, I think He just wants us to learn to trust Him and His timing. I love these tips–especially the realization that God is working in other areas even if it looks like nothing is happening with the one concern of our heart.

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Lois Flowers July 26, 2024 - 7:20 pm

Barbara, that’s a really good question about why God told Abraham and Sarah about having a son when it was so far in the future. Learning to trust Him and His timing is a lifelong endeavor, at least I think it will be for me.

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Trudy July 23, 2024 - 11:04 am

Lois, I love how much you point us to God’s faithful character and sovereignty. I remember that being a truth you learned more of and that you also pointed out in your book and it really touched me and inspired me. Thank you for all your encouragement. Also for reminding us to look for God’s touches everywhere and those answers He has given in the past when we are stressed about His delay of present urgent requests. Love and blessings of strength and peace for each day!

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Lois Flowers July 26, 2024 - 7:18 pm

You’re right, Trudy … the concept of God’s sovereignty has impacted my life in powerful ways! I need the same reminder to look for what God is doing everywhere when I’m waiting on an answer to something specific. Thanks for your encouragement this week, my friend … love and blessings to you and Len.

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Ashley Rowland | HISsparrowBlog July 23, 2024 - 9:03 am

Love this, Lois. It can be difficult to wait for something that only seems good to us when we know God could easily provide it, heal it, or remove it. I love what you said about not praying only for that one thing every time and also counting the blessings God has given us already. There are so very many blessings, and sometimes we ignore all the many to focus on the one and say, “If you don’t do this one thing, then either you don’t care or you’re not real.” But then we do live in a groaning world and God doesn’t owe us anything. He chooses to step into the mess we’ve created of the world and show us love, so many times thanklessly. Wonderful post, Lois.

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Lois Flowers July 26, 2024 - 7:16 pm

Thanks, Ashley! I love how you put this: God “chooses to step into the mess we’ve created of the world and show us love, so many times thanklessly.” What a gift of grace!

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