A Comforting Resource for People Who Have Lost Parents

Inside: The loss of an elderly parent is a profound experience, but it doesn’t get much attention in books or online. Written in the months before and after my parents died, this newly assembled collection of posts offers comfort, hope and encouragement to grieving sons and daughters. ~

Unless we happen to die first, every one of us will lose our parents.

While some experience this at an early age, many of us are middle-aged or older when we say those final good-byes—first to one parent, then the other.

Whether it’s sudden or comes after a long season of heart-breaking decline, the loss of an elderly parent might not be as life-altering as the death of a spouse or child. It certainly doesn’t get as much attention—not in books, not on the Internet and social media, and not even in personal conversations.

But it’s a profound experience, nonetheless.

Common Ground

You may know this already. If so, I understand your sadness, and I’m sorry.

No two losses are the same. The way we process our grief varies greatly, depending on factors such as the kind of relationships we had with our parents and if they shared our faith or not.

And yet, despite these differences, we do have things in common. We have similar experiences, questions and emotions, even many years later.

Writing through It

This is one reason I decided to write through the sad decline and loss of both my parents in the spring of 2019.

Writing about your dying parents is not necessarily a good way to grow your blog. It probably had the reverse effect for me, in fact. But while creating viral content has never been my goal, connecting with and encouraging others who are in a similar place, or have reason to think they will be soon, absolutely is.

Now, for the first time, I’ve gathered these posts together in one place—a new page here on the blog called “Help for Parent Loss.” Some pieces represent real life in real time, while others are more reflective. I’ve grouped them in loose categories and included short summaries so you can see what each one entails.

Notes from a Hard Road

Help for Parent Loss is not a comprehensive guide to grief or to losing a beloved mom or dad. It’s more like a travel journal about an excursion that nobody wants to go on but all of us will eventually take.

If you’ve recently lost your mom or dad, I’d encourage you to bookmark this page. Read one or two posts at a time, when you feel up to it. Choose topics that resonate with you in the moment.

I pray the words you read will comfort your heart, reassure you of God’s presence and work in your life, and give you hope that you will not always feel like you feel today.

If your loss is further in the past, I hope my stories enable you to reflect on your own grief journey, and perhaps even prompt some gratitude about how God brought you through it all.

Preparing for the Inevitable

Finally, if your parents are still alive and well, I have two suggestions. First, you might want to take a peek at the posts on the Help for Parent Loss page and start familiarizing yourself with the idea that someday, you may be feeling something similar. There’s no time like the present to start preparing, even in some small way, for what may lie ahead. (I plan to explore this further in a future post, so stay tuned for that.)

More importantly, if you have friends or loved ones who have recently lost a parent, please share this page with them. Not because it will fix their grief or answer all their questions, but because it just might help them feel like they are not alone.

Take it from someone who knows: That can make a huge difference to a grieving son or daughter.

♥ Lois

P.S. I’m linking up this week with Inspire Me Monday, #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.