Author

Lois Flowers

A Sudden Shift for Me and Some Random Questions for You

by Lois Flowers August 29, 2023

by Lois Flowers

Inside: What happens when plans change unexpectedly, and questions about everything from boots and bird-watching to cooking for two and switching airports in NYC. ~

“Life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans.”

I’m pretty sure this is not the first time I’ve quoted these lyrics by John Lennon in this space. Chances are, it won’t be the last.

This statement basically sums up my current state of affairs. I was moving in one direction, but circumstances dictated a sudden shift. I’ll spare you the details for now; it’s a temporary situation and everything will be OK eventually.

Ripple Effect

That said, it’s got me thinking about what happens when our plans change. Oftentimes, it’s simply inconvenient. But it can also be disappointing. Sad. Uncertain. Expensive, even.

I’ve felt all that in recent days; perhaps you have too.

We could expend considerable mental energy questioning why our plans had to change. But a more helpful alternative is to focus on what we need to do now and trust that God will take care of the rest.

He always does, though His idea of working things out doesn’t always match up with ours (seems like I’ve said that here before too).

All Kinds of Questions

Speaking of questions, my friend Linda asked some wonderful ones in a recent blog post, which prompted me to pose some of my own this week. Hers were thoughtful and thought-provoking, while mine are random and partly related to pictures I’ve taken lately. I’ll be looking forward to reading your answers in the comment section.

• • •

I saw these boots at a boutique the other day. Round the toe a bit more and lower the heel, and I’d totally wear them. How about you?This little flower brings me joy every time I run past it on the sidewalk near my house. It probably takes a little extra effort to mow around it, but I’m glad the homeowner lets it be. Would you let a volunteer bloom in your yard, or would that drive you crazy?

Backyard Birding

One Sunday morning we looked out the window and saw two huge birds right by our pool. We wondered if they might be eagles, but it turns out, they were hawks.

Over the next few days, one or both of these birds came back a few more times. With their huge wing span and fierce-looking talons, they even grabbed the attention of our daughter who thinks we’re old because we like birds. Are you a bird person too, or do you think backyard bird-watching is a sign of old age?

Friendly Strangers

I’ve been working on this post in the lobby of a hotel in Northwest Arkansas. My AirPods are in my ears, and my iPad, phone and water bottle are spread out in front of me. Yet nearly every person who walks past me still makes eye contact and smiles.

I don’t know where these people are from, but it warms my heart to think that humans are still friendly, at least in this particular city in the mid-South. I don’t want to get too personal with a question about whether you like to smile at strangers, so I’ll ask this: Do you work in hotel lobbies or would you be more productive in your room?

Practical Help

From a practical standpoint, the aspect of empty nesting that currently holds the most questions for me is cooking for two. I’m pretty sure Joanna Gaines’ isn’t going to release a cookbook on the subject any time soon, so maybe you can help me. If you’re an empty nester who loves to cook, how did you make the switch from feeding your whole family to feeding two most nights?

Finally, one thing that has made sending Lilly off to Spain a little easier is knowing that we will be going to see her in a few months. Our travel itinerary on the way there includes switching airports in New York City, from LaGuardia to JFK International. Which leads me to my last question: If you’ve ever done this, do you have any advice for us about the best way to accomplish it?

That’s enough questions for now. Please answer as you see fit in the comments—and feel free to add a question or two of your own.

♥ Lois

When our plans change unexpectedly, it's often inconvenient. But it can also be disappointing, sad, uncertain and even expensive. Share on X When our plans change suddenly, we do what we have to do and trust that God will take care of the rest. Share on X

P.S. I’m linking up this week with Inspire Me Monday, #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.

August 29, 2023 36 comments

Share Four Somethings: August 2023

by Lois Flowers August 22, 2023

by Lois Flowers

Inside: Emptying nest prompts thankful reflection, thoughts of home and curiosity about what’s next. ~

Our neighbors got their driveway replaced right before Molly left for college. Such an event might not prompt a trip down memory lane for most people, but it did for me.

Years ago, our neighbor on the other side got a new driveway. Molly was home sick that day, but she felt well enough to sit in a little chair in our driveway and watch the whole project.

With her sweet purple glasses and tiny frame, she probably didn’t look like she’d be fascinated by heavy machinery and construction sites. But she was. Still is, in fact.

More Memories

We got the windshield replaced on our minivan another day she was home sick. That time, she sat in the garage, a safe distance away from the work zone. Thankfully, the good-natured technician didn’t mind working with an audience.

These scenes came to mind as I listened to the construction workers jackhammering next door last week.

Molly has a mechanically oriented mind, along with her own set of hand tools with flowered handles. She’s always enjoyed fixing things and solving problems. She’s creative and unafraid to try things that might make other people anxious.

For example, she’s been backing into parking spaces, without any help from side or rear cameras, since she started to drive on her own a few years ago. That one detail alone says a great deal about her, in my humble opinion as her completely biased mother.

That’s My Girl

I love all this about her, and so much more. Partly because her strengths are different from mine. And also because it’s been so fun to watch her grow from that little girl on the driveway into a confident young lady who is now a college freshman majoring in computer science.

I’m still processing all the feels that come with sending one’s youngest off to school. As I told a friend, my mind’s been like that little circle that goes around and around on your screen when Instagram isn’t working. Lots and lots of processing, and not a whole lot of words to describe it all.

But I’m OK with That

I know God will go before Molly in this stage of her life—and before older daughter Lilly, who leaves for a semester in Europe next week—just as He goes before me and you in our current seasons. I also take comfort in knowing millions of moms have trekked down this road before me, and others are currently on the same path right now.

With all this going on, I haven’t had many opportunities for focused writing. Fortunately, I can bring you up to date through this month’s Share Four Somethings and still have time to go swimming and shopping with Lilly before she boards a plane for her next big adventure.

Starting with …

Something Loved

The girls both had summer jobs that allowed them to be home for supper most weeknights. I love to cook for my family, to enjoy meals together, to linger after the last morsels of flourless chocolate cake are gone—talking and laughing about what happened that day and what’s coming tomorrow.

I’m gonna miss this, just like the country song says I will. But I will also cherish the memories.

Something Read

My mind is a bit scattered to be thinking deep thoughts about books right now. However, I did write down one quote from a novel that spoke to me this past month. It’s from Homecoming, a lengthy time-slip story by Kate Morton that crosses continents and weaves the details of several families into one tragic-yet-redemptive tale.

I recommend it if you like that sort of book. If not, you’ll probably still understand why the following words—spoken about the main character—tugged at my heart.

“She herself had been thinking about ‘home’ a lot,” Morton writes. “Home, she’d realized, wasn’t a place or a time or a person, though it could be any and all of those things: home was a feeling, a sense of being complete. The opposite of ‘home’ wasn’t ‘away,’ it was ‘lonely.’ When someone said, ‘I want to go home,’ what they really meant was that they didn’t want to feel lonely anymore.”

Something Learned

It’s going to take me a while to think through all the lessons from this nest-emptying season of my life. For now, the one that comes to mind is that intentionally approaching a big change like this with curiosity instead of anxiety makes all the difference in the world.

Instead of worrying about how I’m going to feel or being anxious about all the details or fretting about what’s next, I’ve been reminding myself take one task at a time. To feel each feeling as it comes and then move on to the next one. To trust, as I said before, that God is going before each one of us, wherever we are.

But mostly, to take to heart—over and over again—the command in Matthew 6:34: “Don’t worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

Something Ahead

After Lilly leaves, I need to sit down and make a list. It will include projects in process as well as those that have been on the back burner for far too long. I’ll add every person I want to call for coffee. Every email requesting help or advice that I’ve been meaning to write. Every looming task around the house that doesn’t fall under the heading of routine housework.

I suppose this could be overwhelming, but it’s not. Once the list is written, I’ll know what to do next. It’s not set in stone, but it will provide an anchor in the midst of transition. I need that, but you can also be sure I’ll be holding it loosely.

• • •

Now it’s your turn. What are you loving, learning and reading these days? What does the fall hold for you? Do you find to-do lists helpful? Please share in the comments.

♥ Lois

My mind’s been like that little circle that goes around and around on your screen when Instagram isn’t working. Lots and lots of processing, and not a whole lot of words to describe it all. Share on X Once my to-do list is written, I’ll know what to do next. It's not set in stone, but it will provide an anchor in the midst of transition. Share on X

P.S. I’m linking up this week with sharefoursomethings, #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.

August 22, 2023 32 comments

When We Are Weak, God Makes Us Strong

by Lois Flowers August 15, 2023

by Lois Flowers

Inside: Instead of viewing our weaknesses as obstacles or burdens, what if we saw them as opportunities to depend on God’s strength? ~

A while back, I received a group-chat message from a friend in my writing critique group. She was discouraged, and understandably so.

As I cooled down after my morning run, thinking about what I might say to her, my mind flashed back to a few especially exhausting and stressful seasons of my own life.

My prayers during those times were filled with requests for strength. Drawing from the truths of scripture, I regularly reminded God and myself that His strength is made perfect in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). That apart from Him I can do nothing (John 15:5). That when I am weak, He makes me strong (2 Corinthians 12:10).

Not that He needed reminding, of course. That was all for me.

The Source of Our Strength

My friend is strong in many ways. I greatly admire how she has managed and grown through daunting challenges in her life and in the lives of her loved ones.

But she was about to enter an environment where she didn’t feel prepared. So in a quick text, I told her I’d be praying that God’s strength would be made perfect in her weakness.

And then I realized the message wasn’t just for her. I needed this reminder too.

Thankfully, I’m not feeling weak like I was back when these words were always present in my prayers. At certain times and in certain ways, though, I do feel unprepared. Inadequate. Even a bit incompetent.

Perhaps You Can Relate

I don’t know about you, but I’m trying not to let my insecurities and weaknesses (real or imagined) bog me down right now. I’m holding my plans and expectations loosely. I’m taking one step at a time, trusting that God will equip me for what comes next.

It helps when I can look back and see how He carried me through the hardest of times. How His peace sustained me during situations that were far from peaceful. How He opened doors that needed to be opened, just when they needed to be opened.

He’s done it before, and I believe He can do it again. For me, and also for you.

God Knows What You Need

I don’t know what you need today. Maybe it’s actual physical strength. Perhaps it’s mental resilience, emotional stability, spiritual wisdom or relational endurance.

Whatever it is, God knows.

He has wired each one of us in a particular way. He’s given each of us specific gifts and abilities.

But He’s also designed us with weaknesses—some apparent, others not so much—that require us to depend on Him.

We look at our weaknesses as, well, weaknesses. But maybe we should look at them as opportunities to rely on God’s strength. To trust in His provision. To allow Him to work things out in ways we never would have expected.

That’s how I’m choosing to look at it anyway. Want to join me?

♥ Lois

It helps when we can look back and see how God carried us through the hardest of times. How His peace sustained us during situations that were far from peaceful. Share on X We look at our weaknesses as, well, weaknesses. But maybe we should look at them as opportunities to rely on God’s strength. Share on X

P.S. I’m linking up this week with Inspire Me Monday, #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.

August 15, 2023 24 comments

4 Scriptures Providing Comfort in a Season of Transition

by Lois Flowers August 8, 2023

by Lois Flowers

Inside: My younger daughter is leaving for college in a week. How I’m feeling about that, plus timeless promises that can bolster our hearts through seasons of change. ~

One week from today, we’ll load the cars and take our younger daughter to college.

I’ve written some unbelievable words in my life—thoughts about events I still can’t wrap my head around, years after they happened. The idea of taking Molly to college does not fall into that category. It’s part of growing up—the next right step for her, and also for her parents.

And Yet …

A text from a friend in the same season of life is helping me articulate how I feel right now.

“How’s your mama heart as the day draws near to take Molly to JBU?” she wrote.

It’s good question. Last spring, as my sweet girl was wrapping up her final days of high school, I spent several weeks wondering, questioning and even worrying about how all this was going to feel and what I was going to do next.

Eventually, these anxious thoughts morphed into curiosity. I still don’t know how it’s all going to turn out, but rather than fret about it, I decided to take it as it came. One transition at a time, one decision at a time, one feeling at a time.

And Now Here We Are …

I love being Molly’s mom. She’s a unique person—fun, logical, creative, thoughtful, comfortable in her own skin. I will miss her terribly when she goes to college.

She will have the usual challenges to work through when she gets there—greater adjustments than she’s ever had to make, and many of them. She’ll manage, though, I’m sure of that.

At the same time, not knowing what all that is going to look like is tough for this mama’s heart, especially given my well-known propensity to read the end of the book first.

Midnight Musings

And then there are the thoughts that come to me in the middle of the night, the time when I’m most likely to process what’s going on in my life from every conceivable (and often unexpected) angle. Turns out, what I’m remembering most during these times is not Molly’s childhood, but my own transition to college.

I didn’t experience much of this when older daughter Lilly went to college in the fall of 2020. Maybe that’s because I was so happy she got to go at all, given what was happening in the world at the time.

And perhaps also because Molly was still at home. To use a possibly outdated colloquialism, the empty nest phase just hits different.

Where I End Up

Whatever the reason, that’s where my wakeful ponderings have taken me in the days leading up to Molly’s launch. I go round and round, memories chasing regrets chasing feelings, until—inevitably and thankfully—God brings me back to my favorite Bible verse.

“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” (Deuteronomy 31:8, NIV)

God’s presence comforted and protected me when I left home for the first time, and it will do the same for Molly. I can trust in that, and be grateful for it too.

Longtime Inspiration

Other scriptures are coming to mind during this season of transition too. Not surprisingly, the verses bolstering my heart the most also are those that have meant the most the longest.

There’s Psalm 139:16b: “All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”

This promise was foundational when we were waiting to become parents—anticipating the arrival of each daughter through adoption—and when my own parents were nearing the ends of their lives. Now, again, it steadies my heart when I remember it also applies to each member of my family in our current stages of life.

Finding Joy

Ditto for Psalm 16:11: “You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”

This verse gave me courage during the saddest, most exhausting season of my life to date. These days, in the midst of normal transitions and exciting possibilities, it reminds me that God is still guiding our steps and remains our source of joy, no matter what we’re feeling at any given moment.

Finally, as I consider all the growth that surely lies ahead for my girls—and for me, and you too—I can’t help but think about Philippians 1:6, a verse I’ve underlined in nearly every Bible I’ve ever owned:

“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”

I’m hopeful our lives will include many future blessings. I also understand that God often uses circumstances and events that we would never choose to accomplish His purposes and good works. Whatever that looks like for us and our loved ones, we can trust that He will see us through and hold us fast.

Just as He has always done.

♥ Lois

God’s presence comforted and protected me when I left home for the first time, and it will do the same for my daughter. I can trust in that, and be grateful for it too. Share on X I’m hopeful our lives will include many future blessings. I also understand that God often uses circumstances and events that we would never choose to accomplish His purposes and good works. Share on X

P.S. I’m linking up this week with Inspire Me Monday, #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.

August 8, 2023 20 comments

What Happened When the Wi-Fi Went Down (And Other Summer Adventures)

by Lois Flowers August 1, 2023

by Lois Flowers

Inside: It all happened in July: Finding the best watermelons, launching Remembering Our Parents, learning Canva, and enjoying a few days without the internet. ~

A couple of weeks ago, the internet went down at the Flowers house. It wasn’t due to a local outage or anything—it was just us.

Apparently, Wi-Fi plays such a huge role in our lives that when it went down, I was almost surprised to find that the refrigerator and lights still worked. As if the internet also controlled our electricity. (It doesn’t, at least not yet.)

Over the next few days, Randy worked with the company to figure out what was wrong and get our service back up and running. I’m thankful for his efforts, but I have to say, when it came back on, I was a little sad.

Unexpected Blessing

I may be the only one at my house who feels this way, but being without Wi-Fi was kinda refreshing. I had to reschedule some Zoom calls, and when I wanted to check my email, I used the hotspot on my iPhone.

Other than that, I didn’t miss the convenience of checking Google whenever I had a question about something or thought I needed some bit of information. I enjoyed the evenings of reading books and playing cards with Randy and the girls.

I was also very, very grateful that it was the internet that went down and not our electricity. Especially over the next few weeks, when the temps soared into the upper 90s and our AC ran nonstop.

We had an unexpected thunderstorm last night and the heat has subsided a bit today. Which has refreshed my brain just enough to squeeze out a tardy Share Four Somethings for July, starting with …

Something Loved

I love a good watermelon. Juicy, sweet, firm, bright red—you get the idea.

Sadly, though, I’m usually disappointed when I plunge my king-size knife into a melon only to discover the fruit inside is pale and squishy. I’ve threatened to take Wal-Mart up on its Fresh Guarantee, which promises 100 percent money back on anything perishable, but I’ve yet to follow through.

Instead, I’ve decided to take my watermelon shopping elsewhere. And so far, so good.

I bought this watermelon several weeks ago at a grocery store chain in our city. Last week, I got another one there. Both times, I cracked the melons open to juicy red goodness. (Thanks, Hy-Vee.)

Something New

A few weeks ago, I introduced Remembering Our Parents, an Instagram community for all of us who have moms and/or dads who are gone but definitely not forgotten.

Here’s how the account bio explains it:

Our parents. We loved them. We miss them. We want others to know how much they meant to us.

That’s what this space is all about—remembering our parents.

By doing so, we honor their lives. We share their wisdom. And we encourage each other as we continue on without them.

I host Remembering Our Parents, so I create posts, answer questions and curate the conversation. But one way this new space is different from other Instagram accounts is that it is mostly built around follower stories.

If you have a parent you remember fondly, you can learn more about Remembering Our Parents here. If you’re on Instagram, I’d love for you to follow the account. And please consider sharing a short story and photo of your own.

I’m so thankful for friends who have already joined the community, contributed memories and shared about it on their own creative platforms (see here and here). I’m working on ways to nurture growth, but as we move forward, I’m holding it all loosely.

However it happens, it will grow in accordance with God’s plan, in His timing. And I’m OK with that.

Something Learned

One of my biggest hurdles in starting Remembering Our Parents was learning how to use Instagram differently than I do on my personal account. I received some very helpful coaching from Ruthie Gray over at Authentic Online Marketing, and I also invested in the professional version of Canva.

The learning curve associated with this online graphic design tool was a little steeper than I expected. But once I dusted off the part of my brain that used to enjoy this sort of work and figured out a few ins and outs of the program, it’s been fun to produce content to post between follower stories.

Here are a few examples:

Something Eaten

Now that I’ve made them myself, I see why Lu Aussem’s Devil Cakes won the Silos Baking Competition that aired earlier this summer on the Magnolia Network.

Joanna Gaines and the other judges loved the nostalgic story behind the recipe, and they were intrigued by the filling, which starts with a cooked mixture of flour and milk.

I found the recipe in an article on People.com. It’s time-consuming, but also straight-forward and totally worth the effort.

In other foodie news, I’m still making pizza every Thursday night. I bought a pizza stone and a pizza peel. I’ve settled upon sauce and crust recipes that I love. Now I’m trying to be more creative with toppings.

I usually make two small pizzas each week—a pepperoni pie for my girls who like what they like, and another for me and Randy, who tend to be more adventurous in our pizza eating. I need all the help I can get, so hit me up with your favorite combinations, if you please.

• • •

Now it’s your turn. Has your electricity or Wi-Fi gone down this summer? Do you have any tried-and-true tips for choosing a good watermelon? Most importantly, do you know what a pizza peel is? (I didn’t, until I discovered I needed one.) Send me your thoughts, along with your own list of Something Loved, New, Learned, Eaten or any other category that comes to mind.

♥ Lois

I'm very grateful that it was the internet that went down and not our electricity. Especially over the next few weeks, when the temps soared into the upper 90s and our AC ran nonstop. Share on X I’m working on ways to grow @RememberingOurParents, but I’m holding it all loosely. It will grow in accordance with God’s plan, in His timing. And I’m OK with that. Share on X

P.S. I’m linking up this week with Share Four Somethings, Inspire Me Monday, #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.

August 1, 2023 30 comments

Heart-to-Heart Encouragement from Past Hard Seasons

by Lois Flowers July 25, 2023

by Lois Flowers

Inside: A personal story that still brings me to tears, what helped when I lost my voice in the wilderness, and what to do if you want to know God as your Father. ~

This summer I’ve been going through old emails, trying to pare my inbox down from more than 8,000 messages to something, well, more manageable.

I chuckled when I ran across a series of emails from an editor at The Kansas City Star. The messages were from 2013 and 2014, when I was a reader columnist for the weekly religion section.

I remember writing the columns, but I had forgotten about the application process.

Humble Pie

Apparently, my background impressed the old-school editor but my two writing samples did not.

“I can see your journalism skills in your smooth writing,” he wrote, “but I don’t find the depth of thinking about faith or inspiration or intellectual knocks on the head.”

He offered some additional negative feedback and ended with this: “So what do you want to do—shoot me something else or call it a day?”

I chose the former option and was eventually selected to be one of the 12 columnists for the year, signing a contract to submit a piece every quarter.

What Came Next

I started blogging soon after that. In those early days, I republished each of those four columns here.

That was a long time ago, and many people who read my blog now probably weren’t reading it then. So this week I’m sharing excerpts from those four posts, with a link to each piece.

These columns represent my foray back into published writing after a long season in the wilderness. After almost nine years of blogging, they remain among the most personally meaningful pieces in my writing portfolio.

I hope you find them to be encouraging, whatever you are dealing with in your life right now.

How a Psalm I Learned as a Child Saved Me as an Adult

I once wrote an entire book about infertility. But even now, after years of writing about all sorts of very personal topics, my first post for the Star feels like one of the most vulnerable messages I’ve ever written.

“As I stood there in the shower, the song that had so encouraged me before flitted through my troubled mind and I began to sing. Shakily at first, the words pushed past the turmoil in my brain and came pouring out my mouth.

“ ‘I … will … lift up mine eyes to the hills, from whence cometh my help … my help cometh from the Lord … the Lord which made heaven and earth …’ ”

Keep reading here …

What This (Barren) Mom Thinks on Mother’s Day

This column was published near Mother’s Day. I took that opportunity to explain why I love the holiday now but have never forgotten why it is so hard for many.

“Sometimes I think I refrain from praising God publicly for his specific blessings because I don’t want to cause undo pain for someone else. I tread carefully even now, never forgetting the anguish this time of year can cause for women who are struggling to conceive. I still don’t relish going to church on Mother’s Day, because I remember. I look around and wonder, Is anyone here feeling what I used to feel? The ache, the sadness, the loneliness?”

Keep reading here …

By the way, after my editor received this piece, he sent me the following note: “Nice piece, adopted our second daughter after 10 years of not being able to have a second child.”

Guess you never know what you might have in common with someone, huh?

What I Did When I Lost My Voice in the Wilderness

In the following post, I wrote about my long-time practice of typing out my prayers. And what happened in my heart and mind as I did this.

“Day after day, I talked to God via computer keyboard. I have countless files of rambling prayers nobody will ever read, probably not even me. But through that dry time, they were my oxygen. …

“I’d sit down at my desk, exhausted, anxious, overwhelmed. I’d cast my burdens on him, one by one. I’d remind him, over and over, that apart from him I can do nothing. I clung tightly to the promise of Psalm 138:8, that the Lord would fulfill his purpose for me, even if I had no idea what that purpose might be.”

When You Want to Know God as Your Father

Finally, in this column, I used the experience of interviewing my dad about his life as a segue into knowing God as our Father.

“Personally, it’s been the things I’ve struggled with mightily—begged to be freed from, even—that have exposed my weakness and forced my dependence on God’s fatherly attributes of strength, love and compassion. He could’ve ordained an easier way for me, but because He’s my Father and has my best interests at heart, He’s often allowed the opposite.”