Author

Lois Flowers

When We’ve Run Out of Words to Pray

by Lois Flowers
by Lois Flowers

I was talking with a friend at a conference several years ago. She was in the midst of an intense season of stress and grief. She had to be strong for loved ones, while at the same time needed energy to carry on with her very full life.

She shared that her prayer life seemed dry; she felt like she was simply going through the motions. As I listened to her, I was reminded of a time when my own prayers were in particular need of help.

My mind was often foggy. I was tired all the time. I felt dried out, through and through.

I had a little blue box of verses, scribbled out on index cards, that I had been collecting for years. During that season in the desert, I would take three or four cards out each day and turn them into prayers.

As I shared with my friend, these prayers weren’t fancy. I didn’t speak them out loud with any sort of eloquence; in fact, the only way I could stay focused was to type them out on my computer. (I still do that, in fact. I’ve never found a better way to keep my mind from wandering when I pray.)

This season didn’t last forever, but I still have my little blue box of verses. The timeless encouragement and comfort it holds will be there the next time I need it (and I’m fairly certain there will be a next time).

We make prayer more difficult than it is, I think. There are so many books, so many strategies, so many standards we think we have to meet.

I’m not saying the books aren’t helpful. In fact, a long-running piece of my own prayer life is based on two books from Stormie Omartian’s Power of a Praying series.

When we get right down to it, though, prayer is simply talking—to the sovereign God of the universe, yes, but also to the only Person who knows everything about us and loves us anyway.

Even so, as my friend and I discovered at different times in our lives, we sometimes reach a point where we’ve prayed all the prayers we know to pray so many times we’re sick of them.

It’s at times like these—when it feels like we’ve completely run out of things to say—that turning to the Bible and praying God’s words right back to Him can help reopen our end of the communication lines.

• When we don’t know what to do: Send your light and your truth, let them lead me. (Psalm 43:3)

• When we really want a particular thing to happen but also need to hold our desires loosely: Nevertheless, not my will, but yours be done. (Luke 22:42)

• When we’re tired of waiting for God to rescue us: I long for your salvation; I put my hope in your word. My eyes grow weary looking for what you have promised; I ask, “When will you comfort me?” (Psalm 119:81-82)

• When a looming season of life makes us feel untethered and without direction: The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me. Lord, your love is eternal; do not abandon the work of Your hands. (Psalm 138:8)

• When we wonder how long God is going to put up with what’s going on in the world: Lord, I have heard the report about you; Lord, I stand in awe of your deeds. Revive your work in these years; make it known in these years. In your wrath remember mercy! (Habakkuk 3:2)

• When we’re feeling weak and alone. I love you, Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer, my God, my mountain where I seek refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. (Psalm 18:1-2)

• When we’re struggling to be steadfast: Teach me your way, Lord, and I will live by your truth. Give me an undivided mind to fear your name. (Psalm 86:11)

• When we’re feeling overwhelmed: If I say, “My foot is slipping,” your faithful love will support me, Lord. When I am filled with cares, your comfort brings me joy. (Psalm 94:18-19)

• When we don’t have strength to keep going: I cry to you, Lord; I say, “You are my shelter, my portion in the land of the living.” Listen to my cry, for I am very weak. (Psalm 142:5-6)

• When we’re concerned about our loved ones’ hearts: Lord, do not withhold your compassion from [them]; Your constant love and truth will always guard [them]. (Psalm 40:11)

• When the way ahead seems dark and scary: Show me the path of life; in your presence is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. (Psalm 16:11)

I could go on with this all day, but I’d love to hear from you too. Please share some scriptures that have helped you pray during a dark or dry season, or a verse that’s helping you now.

Who knows? The verse you share might be the very prayer someone else needs today.

♥ Lois

Prayer is simply talking—to the sovereign God of the universe AND the only Person who knows everything about us and loves us anyway. Share on X When we’ve run out of things to say, praying God’s words right back to Him can help reopen our end of the communication lines. Share on X

P.S. I’m linking up this week with #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Recharge Wednesday, Let’s Have Coffee, Inspire Me Monday and Grace & Truth.

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God is With Us on the Long Walk Home

by Lois Flowers
by Lois Flowers

I had part of my colon removed when I was in my late 20s. The resident who helped the surgeon mentioned several times that he had never seen someone “our age” in for this kind of procedure.

Maybe I should have known then that aging might take a different course with me. I had to get custom orthotics in my mid 30s (to prevent a bad foot from affecting my quality of life, as the doctor said it would). That was also around the time my hair started going gray in earnest—if I left it uncolored now, I would probably look 20 years older.

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Word of the Year Recap: Strength

by Lois Flowers
by Lois Flowers

Years ago, when part of my work involved writing book reviews, I read a business book called Now, Discover Your Strengths. Written by Gallup Organization researchers Don Clifton and Marcus Buckingham, this bestseller asserts that the most effective way to motivate people is to develop their strengths rather than correct their weaknesses.

I don’t remember much else about the book, but the title has been a guiding light over the years, particularly when it comes to my girls’ education. I’ve encouraged them in areas of struggle, of course, but I’ve tried to focus more on helping them grow in areas where they seem especially gifted or skilled.

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Looking for the Light at the End of the Grief Tunnel

by Lois Flowers
by Lois Flowers

During the first session of a new grief support group, the leader asked us to hold our index fingers out in front of us so we could see our fingerprints. He was emphasizing the fact that, just as every fingerprint is unique, so is each person’s journey through grief.

I didn’t have my reading glasses with me that night, so I actually couldn’t see my own fingerprint right in front of me.

Oh, the Irony

This ironic twist didn’t negate the truth of what the leader was saying, of course. But it did add another layer to his illustration—one that I’ve pondered quite a bit since then.

When grief is raw and fresh, for however long that lasts, it’s hard to see the forest for the trees.

Whether it’s exhaustion, sadness, anger, a lack of motivation or a combination of these and other factors, deep loss can make it tough to put one foot in front of the other, let alone have hope that better days could ever be ahead.

We might hear or read words like, “This too shall pass,” or “You won’t always feel this way,” but even if we understand intellectually that these thoughts are probably true, they might not take root in the soil of our sorrowful hearts.

Wisdom from the Trenches

It is possible, however, that hard-fought wisdom about grief from friends or trusted experts can serve as a lifeline or a light at the end of the tunnel for us as we work our way through our sadness.

Just as I knew my fingerprint was there even though I couldn’t see it, we can hold on to certain things about grieving that we haven’t experienced yet because people we trust have told us they are true, helpful or simply worth remembering.

For example, soon after my mom died, I received a sympathy card from a good friend who had lost both of her parents. In a sweet personal note, she encouraged me to give myself grace as I grieved.

Machine Mode

At that point, I was still in machine mode—trying to wrap my head around my mom’s death while also managing care for my dad as he rapidly declined—and I didn’t really understand what she was talking about. Later, though—after both my parents were gone and all the regrets and what-ifs were keeping me up at night on a regular basis—her words came back to me with all the comfort she had intended.

From another friend’s journey, I learned (and later experienced myself) that grief and joy can co-exist, and that it will likely always be this way until we cross over to heaven’s shore.

When the Grief Softens

Then there was a comment the facilitator of my GriefShare group made that lodged itself in my soul like the promise of spring. “When the grief softens,” she said, “the memories grow warmer.”

It’s true, what she said. The sadness might never go away completely, but now when I think of my parents, I’m more inclined to be thankful for all the years we had together and the influence they had on my life. The grief has softened, and the warm memories are a blessing.

No Rush to “Get Over It”

Finally, at some point after my mom died—maybe a month, maybe a year, I can’t remember—I read an Instagram caption that said something like, “My mom’s been gone for 20 years and I still think about her every day.”

I don’t know whether or not this will be the case for me. But reading those words helped me understand that I probably had a long road of sadness ahead of me. That I was under no obligation to “get over” losing my parents on a certain schedule. And that it’s perfectly normal to miss your mom long after she’s gone to heaven.

I don’t know where you find yourself today. I sincerely hope your holiday season has been full of joy and peace.

The Gift of Grace

But if your heart is reeling from a recent loss, exhausted from a few years of grief or even overwhelmed by a resurgence of sadness from a long-ago loss, I’ll tell you the same thing my friend told me after my mom died: Give yourself grace this Christmas.

There’s no right or wrong way to proceed through the holidays. If you’re sad, be sad. If you experience moments of joy, enjoy them to the fullest. If you feel like crying or taking a walk by yourself or spending the day shopping with your family, by all means, do it.

Above all else, remember this. Just as I couldn’t see my fingerprint but knew beyond a shadow of a doubt it was there, the same is true of God.

As we frequently recall this time of year, He is Immanuel, God with us. (Matthew 1:23) And it’s true, even if it doesn’t always feel like it.

♥ Lois

Hard-fought wisdom about grief from friends or trusted experts can be a light at the end of the tunnel for us as we work our way through our sadness. Share on X There’s no right or wrong way to proceed through the holidays. If you’re sad, be sad. If you experience moments of joy, enjoy them to the fullest. Share on X
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