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Lois Flowers

What I Learned This Winter (Awards Edition)

by Lois Flowers
by Lois Flowers

Yesterday was the official first day of spring. Instead of bemoaning the end of winter (which I have been known to do), let’s celebrate with a little end-of-the-season awards ceremony (just like the Oscars, only without the movies, celebrities, fancy dresses and political statements).

• Best Substitute for Flowers on Valentine’s Day

As much as I love long-stemmed red roses, I told Randy that I’d rather receive a present I could keep for Valentine’s Day this year. So, along with a lovely card and the customary (not to mention mandatory) box of chocolates, he presented me with my new favorite houseplant: a Ponytail Palm.

For me, the thought that goes into a gift is almost as meaningful as the gift itself. And, oddly enough, the fact that the Ponytail Palm reminds Randy of my hair pushes the significance meter sky high on this one.

• Best Social Media Instructors

You may recall that Lilly spent one of our recent Mom Tickets helping me post my very first photo on Instagram. Since then, she and Molly have guided me in the ways of this platform, to the point where I can usually publish my own pictures without any help from anyone. (That’s a big accomplishment for me.)

Lilly is well versed in proper Instagram protocols (though so far I’ve mostly resisted her desire for me to find some reason to tag her in every single picture), while Molly (who doesn’t yet have a cell phone of her own) is my go-to gal when I forget the next posting step (again).

They’re both great teachers when it comes to stuff like this. (I think they get that from their dad.)

Meantime, I’ve come up with my own personal Instagram philosophy that includes only posting scenes that make me laugh, tug at my heart strings or bring me joy (including the latest blooms in my flowerbeds). If that appeals to you and Instagram is your thing, I’d love to connect with you here.

• Best Quote from Long Ago

Speaking of social media, Randy recently ran across a quote by a French political philosopher from the 1700s that is so relevant to today’s society it’s almost eerie. Chew on this one for awhile:

“If one only wished to be happy, this could be easily accomplished; but we wish to be happier than other people, and this is always difficult, for we believe others to be happier than they are.” ~ Montesquieu

• Best Sound Mixing in Our House

Aside from parents reading to their kids (or vice versa), books and noise don’t really go together. But at my house this winter, the sounds of reading were in the air—and I couldn’t have been more delighted about it.

Soft piano music (Christmas or classical, depending on the season) playing on the living-room stereo. Molly’s light-hearted laughter as she comes across a funny part in her new book series and pauses to read it out loud to Randy. Lilly on the couch, engrossed in whatever library book happens to be nearby and always—always!—crinkling the plastic cover as she reads.

Be still my happy heart.

I expect there are those who need absolute quiet in order to enjoy a book. Clearly, I’m not one of them.

• Best Song for This Season of Life

I’ve been a bit sporadic when it comes to posting a new Song of the Month regularly, but music continues to nurture my soul in important ways these days. In particular, I just can’t get enough of the following tune from Casting Crowns. The overall message is profound, and there are specific lines that literally take my breath away every time I hear them.

If your heart is in need of an encouraging lift today, please take a moment to listen to this.

• Best Musical Surprise

I have one daughter who thrives in spotlights of her choosing and likes to stay so busy I can hardly see straight, and another who thrives in the shadows with lots of margin. And white space. And down time. And sleeping in. (You get the idea.)

Anyway, I had no idea second daughter was planning to participate in the upcoming middle school solo and ensemble festival until her older sister mentioned something about it in passing a couple of weeks ago.

Wait, what? Molly’s doing what?

Sure enough, she and her best friend had been diligently practicing their clarinet duet every morning before school. She was up a half hour early the day of the contest, and appeared to be the picture of calmness that evening as she ate supper and got herself ready for the big event.

I knew she had prepared well, but I could barely keep the tears back as I watched her perform. She was so composed, so grown-up looking. The girls played well together, earning a top “one” rating.

Then we came home and Molly scarfed down an entire second supper. Apparently, playing your clarinet in front of a judge, your parents and your big sister requires a great deal of energy for someone like my sweet girl.

• Best Quote from a Modern-day Newspaper

We didn’t have a television when I was a kid, so I grew up reading the daily newspaper. Even all these decades later, fetching the paper from my driveway is an integral part of my morning routine.

It’s probably an understatement to say that newspapers these days are not what they once were. I’ve come close to canceling my subscription many times, but one of the things that keeps me coming back for more is the sports section. I’m not an athlete, but I am a fan—one who loves to read sports stories.

In early January, our entire metropolitan area was gearing up to watch the Kansas City Chiefs host the Pittsburgh Steelers in the NFL playoffs. As part of its coverage, the Kansas City Star published a poignant feature on our team’s beloved former coach who is now battling Alzheimer’s.

I’ll close this quarterly recap with a quote from that story that continues to resonate in the deepest chambers of my heart and mind:

“Life is a journey of one step at a time: You pick one foot up, you put it on the ground. You pick your other foot up, you put it on the ground. And you just continue to do your thing.” ~ Marty Schottenheimer

♥ Lois

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Spring Break Encouragement for all the Tired Moms

by Lois Flowers
by Lois Flowers

Several years ago, my friend Kim joined Lilly, Molly and me for a hike at our local arboretum. I was tired and just wanted to stick to the hiking trail, but of course, the girls wanted to go down the bank of the creek and skip rocks by the water like we usually did.

I would have been content to stay up top and wait for them, but Kim had other plans.

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One Simple Way to Revitalize Your Bible Reading

by Lois Flowers
by Lois Flowers

When it takes you two years and nine months to complete your two-year Bible reading plan, you can look at it one of two ways.

You can feel guilty that it took you that long to get through it (mostly because you don’t do it on weekends or during vacations). Or you can be grateful that the process reignited a love of structured Bible reading that sort of got buried during several years of exhausted living.

Guilt-free Bible Study

I’m not a fan of unproductive guilt trips, so I chose the second option. And a short while later, I began the plan all over again. Not to see if I could beat my previous time, but because I really enjoyed it.

I didn’t wait for what might seem like a logical time to begin again either. I started my second run-through on Sept. 6 by reading two chapters specified for that day—Romans 16 and Psalm 56. (The plan includes a daily reading from either Psalms or Proverbs, along with a passage from the Old or New Testament.)

I love the practical theology in the Apostle Paul’s writing, so digging into that part of the New Testament held my attention for a few months. The cultural relevance of books by Peter, James and John struck me anew this time around. But when I started to see the Book of Revelation looming up ahead, my enthusiasm waned just a bit.

Aha Moment

I don’t know about you, but I find Revelation hard to understand. I wanted something concrete to guide me as I read—something that would keep me focused through all the talk of scrolls, seals, trumpets and beasts.

That’s when I came up with a simple idea that is, quite honestly, transforming the way I read the Bible. Beginning with the first verse of Revelation, I started writing down every name and description of God I came across in my reading for each day.

The Almighty. Ruler of the kings of the earth. Creator of all things.

Making a List

I found an old journal, opened to a clean page and began making a numbered list. At first, I tried not to include repeated names, but I soon got tired of flipping back to see whether I had already recorded a particular title. If the Bible uses the name again, I decided, it’s worth writing it down again.

The Amen. Faithful and True. The One who examines thoughts and emotions.

I’ve read the Bible through several times in my life. I’ve even done studies on the names of God. But I never before realized how frequently and how beautifully God is described within the pages of His own Word—not until I started writing them all down.

A tester of hearts. The Bright Morning Star. The One who lifts my head.

Be on the Lookout

I didn’t dread reading the Bible before, but now I actually look forward to getting out of bed in the morning so I can go downstairs and see how many descriptors of God I can find in the sections for that day. I’ve found it makes me pay attention to what I’m reading more, because I don’t want to miss anything.

A righteous judge. Holy and true. The One whose eyes are like a fiery flame.

I’m doing this as I read through the Bible, but you don’t need to be involved in some kind of structured plan to try it out. Any time you read scripture, just be on the lookout for the names of God and write them down.

The Lamb. The Word of God. The One enthroned in heaven.

This is just a simple study strategy, not another legalistic box to check or something to feel guilty about if you happen to stop doing it. But if you’re like me—the kind of person who likes to make lists, enjoys words and wants to learn more about who God is—it might be just the thing for you.

♥ Lois

Note: All the names of God listed in this post are from the Holman Christian Standard Bible.

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When the Way Ahead is Unclear

by Lois Flowers
by Lois Flowers

I have this thing where I hate not being able to see my feet.

I first realized this about myself years ago when Randy and I were waiting for a table at a crowded restaurant. The lighting in the place was very low, and the flooring was black. When our name was finally called, we had to pick our way through the other waiting people without stumbling or bumping into anyone.

I’m already slightly clumsy by nature, so it was disconcerting for me to walk to our seats without knowing exactly where my feet were landing. I couldn’t wait to reach my chair so I could sit down and stop feeling discombobulated and disoriented.

Ever since then, I’ve been vigilant about making sure my path is well lit. It’s become sort of a joke at my house—when we go upstairs in the evening after watching TV in our basement family room, everyone knows not to turn the light off in the stairwell until Mom’s gotten past the landing.

“I can’t see my feet, I can’t see my feet,” they tease affectionately.

But they keep the light on, because they know I need it.

This might be one of those cases where the spiritual analogy is so obvious I feel a bit sheepish even mentioning it. For some reason, though, it took me a long time to make the connection between a Bible verse I learned as a kid and this thing with my feet.

“Your Word is a lamp for my feet and a light on my path.” (Psalm 119:105)

The world is a dark place these days, there’s no doubt about that. But evil isn’t the only force that dims our vision. Obstacles like uncertainty, confusion and fear—about parenting, work, relationships, family issues, politics, our culture, the future, finances, you name it—also can play a role.

When the way ahead is unclear, I don’t know where my feet will fall as I move forward. It’s disconcerting, to say the least.

But I don’t need to see all the way to the finish line. Quite often, I don’t need to see beyond the very next thing—the next thought, the next response, the next decision, the next step. And God’s words provide all the light I need for that.

• “Do everything without grumbling or arguing.” (Phil. 2:14)

• “Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you.” (Psalm 55:22)

• “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9)

• “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you.” (Luke 6:27)

• “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” (1 Cor. 13:4-5)

• “Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger.” (James 1:19)

• “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.” (Phil. 2:3)

• “Give thanks in all circumstances.” (1 Thess. 5:18)

Nobody said the next step would be easy. But whether it’s on the path of life or at a dimly lit restaurant, it’s usually not as complicated as I’d like to think.

♥ Lois

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Timely Quotes from a Dusty File

by Lois Flowers
by Lois Flowers

Although it looks and feels like spring outside, the calendar says we’re still in the heart of winter. Hypothetically at least, that’s the best time of year to tackle all those inside projects that have been relegated to the bottom of my to-do list for longer than I care to remember.

There are bookshelves to decorate, budgets to update and photo albums to work on—but not until I finish filing stacks of old bills and going through other piles of paperwork that I’ve been meaning to organize for years.

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Love for the Long Haul

by Lois Flowers
by Lois Flowers

Our first February as a married couple, Randy had one rose a day delivered to my desk in the newsroom during the week leading up to Valentine’s Day.

More than two decades and a whole lot of life later, he accidentally did something decidedly less romantic the week before Feb. 14.

“Put lotion on and forgot to put my ring back on!” he texted me one morning. “Feels naked.”

Dry hands, bouts of forgetfulness and the feeling that something is missing when your wedding ring isn’t on. That’s what love looks like after almost 23 years of marriage.

And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Twenty-three years doesn’t sound like much when you consider there are people in this world who have been married for 75 or 80 years. But it seems like a long time when you realize you’ve almost reached the point where you’ve been married longer than you were single.

There are a lot of happy memories wrapped up in those years, along with some seasons you’d probably rather forget. Every bit of it has made you what you are, though, so if you had to eliminate any of it, how would you even know which piece to pick?

It’s not just that you’ve weathered the storms together, you’ve weathered the rest of the weather together too. Hot and dry. Cold and rainy. Foggy and dreary. Muggy and oppressive. Snowy and blustery.

In retrospect, you’ve lived a forecast that you never could have predicted—and possibly never would have chosen, if it had been up to you.

But it wasn’t.

As “in love” as you thought you were, you didn’t really know what you were saying when you took those vows all those years ago. For better or for worse. In sickness and in health. Who can envision what all that will include, and how it will change you?

But there was one vow you understood—the “as long as we both shall live” part. The part that means no matter what, no matter how you happen to feel on any given day or any particular hour of that day, you’re stuck with each other.

Fused at the molecular level, if you will.

Yes, that bond could be broken, but not without devastating consequences. So, come rain or shine, you keep moving forward, hand tucked securely in hand.

At the moment, you’re smack-dab in the middle of the sandwich-generation years. Being on call for your elderly parents while helping your children navigate the ups and downs of adolescence can be mentally and emotionally exhausting. It doesn’t leave a lot of energy for love poems and hot dates, Valentine’s Day or not.

What it does leave room for is inside jokes and 20-second hugs. For reading side by side on the living-room loveseat. For eating supper in the cozy dining room instead of the cluttered kitchen. For HGTV or Velocity on Friday nights. For Saturday afternoon naps and Sunday afternoon “coffee drives.”

These activities may not rank high on the Richter scale of marital excitement, but they’re keeping the bonds strong and flexible until it’s just the two of you again. Which it will be, before you know it.

Here’s the thing. It’s easy to look at couples who are much further down the road and say things like, “When we’re that age, I hope you don’t …” or “When we get to that stage of life, I hope you take care of me just like …”

You can learn from what you observe, but the truth is, you just never know what’s going to happen. You don’t go around planning for the things that sometimes slam you against the wall or sneak up on you when you’re focused on what’s right in front of you.

But when they happen (as they inevitably will), you know what you have to do. You lean toward each other, not away, because that is what you promised to do so long ago, back when you had no idea what you were promising.

You didn’t know, but the God who brought you together all those years ago? He knew.

And He’ll be the One holding you together in the future. Even when you forget to wear your wedding ring.

♥ Lois

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