Author

Lois Flowers

22 Insights from the Wilderness

by Lois Flowers July 26, 2016

by Lois Flowers

Flowers in desert Earlier this year, I led a women’s study at my church about how God uses the hard things in our lives to make us more useful.

Although we covered a broad range of topics over the course of 10 weeks, one that stands out for me was the session about the wilderness—that dry, desolate landscape that has the potential to transform our hearts like nothing else.

I’ve spent a few long seasons in the wilderness, so it was a deeply personal class for me. But the stories I shared from my own life were merely an entry point for the women in the class to consider their own experiences with this exhausting and often-confusing place.

We talked about what the wilderness looks like, why it’s so hard and why God allows us to linger there. I closed the class with the following thoughts about the wilderness. It’s by no means an exhaustive summary, but if you are trudging through a desert of your own right now, I hope it provides perspective and encouragement for you today.

• Every Christian goes through wilderness experiences, some more than others.

• God is sovereign over the wilderness. He tests us and may allow sifting, but whatever happens, we are never completely at the mercy of Satan.

• Sometimes we don’t know we’re in the wilderness until we’re well into it.

• When we’re in the wilderness, we need to accept the fact that we are there and might be there for quite some time.

• Not every hard or inconvenient thing is the wilderness.

• Sometimes the wilderness is difficult because it’s so intense; sometimes it’s the length of time is that makes it hard.

• When we are at the end of our rope in the wilderness, God will strengthen us.

• When we get a respite in the wilderness, we should try to enjoy it. Cue a verse I’ve loved forever: “Then they came to Elim where there were twelve springs of water and seventy date palms, and they camped there beside the waters.” (Exodus 15:27)

• Life goes on in the wilderness. Just because we’re there doesn’t mean we’re going to be miserable all the time.

• While in the wilderness, we should remember that God is with us, but not expect Him to live up to our expectations of what He will look like or do.

• Things are not always as they seem in the wilderness. Just as deserts have mirages, so our foggy minds can play tricks on us. Cue another verse that is one of my go-to prayers: “Send Your light and Your truth; let them lead me.” (Psalm 43:3)

• When we’re at our lowest points—laid bare with no idea how to move forward—we need to claw through to the realization that God is enough.

• If we are in the wilderness due to no fault of our own, its because our loving heavenly Father deems it necessary. It’s the right place to be if He has allowed us to be there.

• If we get there because we’ve run away or made bad choices, God is still there. We need to move toward Him; He will redeem.

• God leads us and takes care of us in the wilderness, even when sin puts us there.

• God uses the wilderness to do His transforming work.

• It may be hard to see except in retrospect, but one heart issue that God often deals with in the wilderness is pride.

• When we’re in the wilderness, the work we’re best at or value most may need to be set aside, temporarily and perhaps even permanently.

• Some wilderness experiences end victoriously; some end quietly.

• Even when we can see the wilderness in our rear view mirror, we may never be completely “over it.” Scars and sadness may always serve as reminders of where we’ve been and how it has affected us.

• The wilderness will change us, so our ministries may be completely different once we leave than they were before we got there. Remember: God doesn’t just have one assignment for us in life; He gives us different ones during different seasons.

• When the rough terrain becomes smooth again, we need to appreciate where we are, which is NOT in the wilderness.

Now that you’ve read my list, I would love to know: What has the wilderness taught you that you may not have learned somewhere else?

♥ Lois

P.S. Linking up this week with Kelly Balarie at Purposeful Faith, Jennifer Dukes Lee at #TellHisStory, Holley Gerth at Coffee for Your Heart, Lyli Dunbar at #ThoughtProvokingThursday, Crystal Twaddell at #FreshMarketFriday and Dawn Klinge at Grace & Truth.

July 26, 2016 24 comments

If You Need to Remember that God is Good

by Lois Flowers July 19, 2016

by Lois Flowers

I can’t believe I’m going to admit this in a public venue, but sometimes, I secretly roll my eyes when something wonderful happens and someone exclaims, “God is so good!”

I don’t react this way because what the person says isn’t true, or even because I think he or she shouldn’t say it. Clearly,giving God credit for the blessings He kindly bestows is an obvious and appropriate response in many situations.

Rather, it’s because it sort of amuses me that I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone proclaim this phrase when something bad happens, even though God’s goodness supersedes human circumstances and is always present, no matter what.

It might sound a tiny bit like a cliché when we repeat it in church, but it’s solid biblical truth.

God is good, all the time (Psalm 23:6 and Psalm 136:1).

And although a conscientious person would never carelessly toss out phrases about God’s goodness to someone in the throes of suffering, when it’s properly understood, this aspect of His character can provide great comfort and encouragement in the midst of a trial.

You could probably fill a library with all the non-fiction books that have been written about why God allows suffering. But when Randy and I were dealing with infertility many years ago, it was actually a passage from a novel that touched my aching heart so much I just had to include it in the book I later wrote about the subject.

In the following excerpt from my book, I describe what is happening in the story, then share a powerful quotation from Heathersleigh Homecoming by Michael Phillips.

• • •

A woman named Hope had served for a time as a missionary in New Zealand. She and her husband were enjoying their ministry and expecting their first child when a leader in their village turned on them, killing her husband and burning their home.

The shock of it sent her into labor, but the baby didn’t survive. This tragedy forced Hope to totally rethink her faith. “How can I believe in God’s goodness after what had happened?” she asked herself over and over again.

She sank into deep despair. Then one day, after she had returned home to London, a chance opportunity to help a lost little boy find his mother made her realize that despite her doubts and self-absorption, she was still capable of kindness and goodness.

Upon recognizing that the goodness within her had come from God, she came to the conclusion that God truly was good, and that His goodness wasn’t meant to take away the world’s suffering, but to provide a refuge in the middle of it. As the following excerpt shows, this realization transformed the way she looked at life.

“What I came to accept was simply this … that God is good.”

A long silence followed.

“Only that and nothing more,” Sister Hope added, “—God is good.

“It does not mean that things in my life will always be good … but that God is good. It does not mean that my life will be an easy one … but that God is good. It does not mean that my prayers will always be answered in the way I would like … but that God is good. It does not mean that tragedy may not visit me … but that God is good. It does not mean that there will not always be suffering in the world … but that God is good. It does not mean that there will not be times when I am so overcome by sadness at memories in my life that I must go outside and find a place to be alone and just cry for an hour … but that God is good. It does not mean that there will not continue to be many who will deny his very existence because of the pain and seeming unfairness of life they see all around them … but that God is good. It does not mean that there will not always be many questions for which we have no answers … but that God is good.

“God’s goodness is the larger truth over the whole, the largest truth overspreading all of life—over cruelty, over suffering, over tragedy, over doubts, over despair, over broken relationships, over sin itself. Why God’s goodness doesn’t eliminate such things, I don’t know. Perhaps we shall ask him one day. For some reason our tiny human minds cannot comprehend, God has allowed suffering in his universe. I don’t know why. You and I might have done it differently. But then we are not God, so it is impossible for us to see all the way into the depths of the matter. We therefore cannot perceive the many ways in which the very suffering we rail against may in fact contribute to the overall eternal benefit and growth of God’s universe and its created beings.

“We cannot see to the bottom of such things. So we foolish creatures look at the world’s suffering and say God must not exist, or if he does he must not care, or must be a cruel God. Yet I suspect that when we are one day able to see all the way into it, we will see that Goodness and Love lie at the root even of all the suffering that was ever borne by this fallen humanity of which we are part. The devil is presently having his brief illusion of triumph, but God’s goodness will reign in the end.”

She paused, then added, “In short, the circumstances of life do not always seem to be good, but God himself is always good. Thus, though there may not always be happiness, there is always hope. That must be the basis for our faith—not that God gives us a happy life.”

• • • •

A couple of decades have passed since I first read that passage from Heathersleigh Homecoming, and its impact is as strong now as it was then. If you find yourself in a spot where you need to reflect on God’s goodness today, I hope this has helped.

♥ Lois

Note: This post includes an excerpt from my book Infertility: Finding God’s Peace in the Journey (Harvest House, 2003), available here.

July 19, 2016 20 comments

The Prayer that Breaks the Worry Cycle (Part 2)

by Lois Flowers July 12, 2016

by Lois Flowers

For the last few weeks, we’ve been delving into the prayer that Jesus uttered in the Garden before He was crucified, and the difference it can make if you’re prone to worry or uncomfortable with uncertainty. (If you missed the earlier posts, you can catch up here, here and here.) Today, we wrap up this little series with another anecdote about how this prayer has helped me, along with some final thoughts about its current relevance.

• • •

You may wonder, as I sometimes have, if praying for God’s will and not ours during an uncertain situation shows a lack of faith.

When Randy and I prayed this way during our years of infertility, for example, I sometimes felt as if I were hanging on to an escape clause, giving both God and myself a way out in case my prayers for a baby weren’t answered the way I wanted. (Sort of like the fine print of prayer, if you will).

I believed that He could make me pregnant, no matter what the doctors said. But I didn’t know whether He would, and at times I felt as if praying this way was my own little way of protecting myself and keeping my expectations in check.

But then, I had to keep going back to the peace I was experiencing. I wasn’t worrying. (Given my previous struggles in this area, that was a miracle in itself.) I wasn’t fretting. I wasn’t agonizing over what was going to happen to me in the future.

All that reassured me that this really was a good way to pray. And the fact that Jesus Himself prayed like this pretty much sealed the deal—I don’t think it would have been included in scripture if it wasn’t meant to guide and encourage us.

As I shared last week, praying for God’s will to be done during that season of infertility was what finally released me from the stronghold of worry that had held me captive since childhood. Since then, though, I’ve had to return to the prayer again and again, as God continues to give me opportunities to choose trust over worry and fear.

Sometimes I fail miserably. Other times, it takes me a while to get there, but when I finally remember, it never fails to usher in the peace that surpasses all understanding.

For example, we found out in late 2003 that Randy was going to be let go from a company he’d been with for 10 years. The good news was that he discovered this was going to happen several months before it did, so he had time to prepare. But the impending job loss was still stressful, and even more so because we were building a house and preferred to have some degree of financial stability during that process.

I knew I needed to submit this concern to God in prayer, but instead, I often found myself giving Him a 17-step plan of what I thought should happen. Randy needed to get a job with this company, and it needed to come at this time and in this way so that all of our insurance and budgetary needs would be covered.

When I caught myself telling God what needed to occur with Randy’s job, I had to keep going back to that prayer—not my will, but yours be done. Once again, praying this way brought me peace during those months of waiting and uncertainty. It helped me hold my expectations of what was going to happen loosely. It reminded me that I was not in control or responsible for the outcome.

Still, for me, trusting God about our financial future was much more difficult than trusting Him about our future family.

Everything I believed about God when we were dealing with infertility was still true. He was still sovereign. His plan for me was still perfect and good, even if it included things I didn’t like or didn’t understand. He still loved me. He still knew what was best for me and my family. He still wasn’t going to leave me nor forsake me.

But I still had to make a conscious decision to trust Him. And for me, verbalizing that prayer once again kept me focused on what I knew to be true and helped me (mostly) avoid my old habit of worrying.

This applies to so many things that might concern us today, doesn’t it? The upcoming presidential elections. The appointment of Supreme Court justices. Unsettling changes in the world and in society. Healing for ourselves and loved ones. Provision of our daily needs. And so on.

Not my will, but yours be done.

Although I didn’t really plan to delve into this topic quite so deeply this summer, I’m glad I did. I need these reminders now more than ever, and I have a feeling I’m not the only one. But before I shut the door (at least for now) on this unexpected little series, I want to add one last thought.

When we pray for God’s will to be done and begin holding our expectations—about anything—more loosely, it does not mean that we are abandoning hope. Yes, the Greek word for “hope” does mean “confident expectation,” but the key here is the object of our hope.

We get in trouble when we put our hope in something that we want to happen, or someone we want to come through for us in some way. It is only when we place our hope—our confident expectation—in God, in His Word, in His unfailing love—that we can have peace in the midst of uncertainty.

♥ Lois

P.S. Parts of this post were adapted from my book Infertility: Finding God’s Peace in the Journey (Harvest House, 2003), available here.

July 12, 2016 26 comments

The Prayer that Breaks the Worry Cycle (Part 1)

by Lois Flowers July 5, 2016

by Lois Flowers

When I was a kid, I had lots of nicknames. One friend called me “Monkey” because I always brought bananas to school in my lunch. Another dubbed me “Too Tall Jones” because I towered over everyone else in our grade, while still another preferred to call me “Giraffe” for the same reason.

I didn’t mind any of these monikers, given as they were by classmates who used them affectionately. When I think of them now, I remember those friends fondly.

I did have another childhood nickname that brings up a different set of feelings, though. Prompted by my apparent propensity for fretting about everything, one of my much older brothers called me “Worry Busby.”

July 5, 2016 28 comments

Song of the Month: “Thy Will”

by Lois Flowers July 3, 2016

by Lois Flowers

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a guest post for my friend Bethany’s “In ____ We Trust” series. I finished it up in Iowa, at the dining room table of the old farmhouse that serves as guest quarters on my college roommate’s farm.

Was it simply being at Rachel’s peaceful place that sparked a flow of words like I hadn’t experienced for awhile? Or was it the hours of conversation we enjoyed over the course of several days that prompted me to reflect on topics I hadn’t dusted off for a long time?

Maybe some of both.

Whatever the case, when I finished writing the post about a prayer that has literally changed my life, I knew I wasn’t ready to leave the topic. The timing couldn’t have been better, as the tune I had already picked out for July’s Song of the Month fits the theme perfectly.

Be sure to come back Tuesday for more on that powerful prayer. Until then, I have a feeling you’ll be as moved by “Thy Will” by Hillary Scott (of the country group Lady Antebellum) as I am.

July 3, 2016 6 comments

Guest Post: When You Crave Closure

by Lois Flowers June 28, 2016

by Lois Flowers

When my friend Bethany introduced her “In ____ We Trust” blog series several weeks ago, I was curious to see where she was going to go with the topic, but I wasn’t sure how it was going to apply to my daily life. I definitely have areas of spiritual struggle and plenty of room for improvement in many spots, but at the time, I was doing OK in the trust department.

Or so I thought.

In my world, one of the marks of a good blog post is when I finish reading and say to myself, “I never thought of it like that before.” With Bethany’s series, that’s happened more than once.

June 28, 2016 14 comments