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Lois Flowers

What I Learned This Spring

by Lois Flowers June 7, 2016
by Lois Flowers

possumSummertime, and the livin’ is easy—or so the old song goes.

Easy isn’t quite how I’d describe what’s been going around here, though. We haven’t eased into summer break; we’ve charged ahead with all cylinders at full throttle. All the cylinders of my minivan’s poor engine, that is—the same vehicle that logged a grand total of 15 round trips to Lilly’s ballet school last week.

 

Sounds crazy, I know. But that’s what happens when your daughter volunteers at a morning theater camp and then returns later in the day to participate in long rehearsals for the school’s upcoming performances of Cinderella.

It’s all good, but it doesn’t leave much time for focused writing. So today, I’m going to take a cue from all those “What I Learned in May” blog posts I saw last week and offer up my own little summary of recent observations. Since it covers more than a month, let’s just call it “What I Learned This Spring.”

possum on fence• Possums can climb straight up tree trunks and walk along the top of wooden fences. They also don’t mind when you take pictures of them in your backyard.

• Accidentally hitting publish on a blog post that you’ve barely started writing is momentarily embarrassing, but it’s not the end of the world.

• It is entirely possible to break your foot and not feel any pain at all unless you are trying to walk (or so I’m told).

• Perennials in your flowerbeds that originated in someone else’s garden produce the loveliest blooms.

• After you spend years avoiding nearly all forms of social media, joining the Twittersphere (@loisflowers16) is not nearly as complicated or scary as you thought it would be.

• When your OneWord for the year is satisfied, you had better prepare yourself for an onslaught of opportunities to be just the opposite.

• Choosing to outfit an entire basement wall in floor-to-almost-ceiling bookshelves is one of the best decorating decisions you will ever make.

• And who knew that listening to your 11- and 14-year-old daughters argue about who gets to go to Lowe’s with Dad on Saturday morning could bring you so much joy?

• The hardest part of teaching a class for women at your church is not the actual teaching, nor the actual preparing. It’s the mental and emotional battles that sometimes result from doing what you’ve been called to do.

• You might think that when one daughter finishes elementary school and the other daughter finishes middle school at the same time, you would be awash in sadness and sentimentality. But after witnessing all kinds of fascinating growth in each of them in recent months, you might actually find that you are quite looking forward to the next chapters in both of their lives.

• Friendships among people who share a love of books and reading are among the best friendships of all.

• Understanding from someone who was once where you are is a rare and precious gift.

• When you’re all out of words, it’s OK not to say anything at all.

♥ Lois

June 7, 2016 26 comments
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Song of the Month: “Hands of God”

by Lois Flowers June 5, 2016
by Lois Flowers

Song of the month steeple3

Francesca Battistelli’s latest CD has been on autoplay in my kitchen lately, and one song in particular has caused me to reflect on the live-giving friendships I’ve enjoyed over the decades.

Often marked by deep conversation, a love of books and—always—lots of laughter, these relationships have spanned generations and seasons of life, miles and family status.

In my adult years , they’ve developed over tea at coffee shops and breakfast bagels at ice-cream shops. They’ve grown across office work stations and kitchen islands, at MOPS meetings and school reception desks, in church lobbies and women’s Bible studies, and—more recently and much to my great delight—even through blog posts and comments.

I dare not start listing names, for fear of leaving out someone especially dear. But I think that’s OK—you know who you are. What you may not know, though, is how much you mean to me. That’s why the Song of the Month for June is dedicated to you—because to me, you are the “Hands of God.”

Lois Flowers

June 5, 2016 4 comments
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If You Feel Like Giving God the Silent Treatment

by Lois Flowers May 31, 2016
by Lois Flowers

For me, prayer is a conversation. A written conversation, mostly.

As I explained here, I get distracted easily, and the only thing that really keeps me focused when I’m praying is typing out my words.

I’ve been journaling my prayers for so long that it seems almost second nature to me. But I can see how it might be a little constricting—maybe even intimidating—for someone who is not used to doing it.

Of course, when it comes to prayer, sometimes the issue’s not the format. Maybe it’s the fact that—for whatever reason—God seems distant, aloof or uninterested in our lives. Maybe we feel awkward talking to someone we can’t see. Maybe we can’t think of anything to say.

Maybe we trusted Him as hard as we could for some really big thing, and the outcome left us hurt, angry or disappointed.

Anyone?

I don’t think giving God the silent treatment is the answer, though.

What are we afraid of, anyway? That He might hear us and do something we don’t like? That He might hear us and do nothing?

He will not do nothing—of that, I am sure. We may not see it now, but He is always working.

But don’t look to me and my theories and ideas to bolster your faith. (Trust me—that won’t get you very far.) Don’t put your hope in myriad authors, pastors, bloggers and speakers who are trying to equip you or encourage you or help you feel like you’re not alone (as beneficial as they often are).

Take it up with the Creator of the Universe and the Maker of your Soul.

Talk to Him—openly, honestly, without worrying about format or syntax.

Ask Him to open your eyes to the way He has been working in your life—all along, even in those most painful moments when you think He couldn’t possibly have been there.

He was there, after all. Whether you want to acknowledge it, or not. Whether you are emotionally able to acknowledge it, or not.

He was there, and He was loving you.

He still is, in fact. And He won’t ever stop.

Here’s the thing.

We wonder why life is hard, why we’ve been so afflicted, why we struggle so mightily with things that others often can’t understand. Why won’t God just fix it? What’s the use is trying to live the Christian life when we just seem to get more of the same?

Perhaps what we should wonder, instead, is where would we be had the hand of God NOT been on our lives. What have the prayers that others have lifted on our behalf—even in generations past—kept from us? What have they kept US from? Where would we be if Jesus Christ were not, at this very moment, interceding on our behalf at the right hand of the Father?

It’s easy to look back and point fingers and wonder where God was. But maybe, as we look back, it would be better if we tried to give thanks for all that we have surely been spared—not to minimize our past trials or diminish our current pain, but to build our faith in the One who is guiding our future.

♥ Lois

We wonder why life is hard, why we struggle so mightily with things that others often can’t understand. Instead, perhaps we should wonder where would we be had the hand of God NOT been on our lives. Share on X
May 31, 2016 18 comments
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When It’s Hard to Persevere

by Lois Flowers May 24, 2016
by Lois Flowers

For the first few months of the year, I spent most of my Sunday evenings talking to a group of women at my church about how God uses the trials and struggles in our lives to make us more useful to Him.

mount up with wings as eagles

The content of the class, which largely grew out of my years in the wilderness, has been simmering in my mind and heart for a long time. At the outset, the thought of writing 10 hour-long lessons was a bit intimidating because I had never done anything like that before. But I had what I felt like was a clear calling from God, along with friends and family members who were committed to praying for me. So although I knew it would be a challenge, I was excited about doing it.

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May 24, 2016 28 comments
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How God Responds When We’re Afraid

by Lois Flowers May 17, 2016
by Lois Flowers

Seaside churchSeveral years ago, I asked my dad what I was like as a kid. It might sound like an odd question, but having reached a point in my life where I was realizing my views of myself as a child didn’t always match reality, I was curious about his perspective.

His answer was blunt and to the point.

“You were always very fearful,” he said.

Though his response made me sad, it wasn’t exactly surprising, given my childhood propensity for worrying. Thankfully, though my fretting ways followed me well into my 20s, the stranglehold worry once had on me is largely a thing of the past. But, as I shared several weeks ago, fear still infiltrates my heart and mind from time to time—in frustrating and even debilitating ways.

Here’s the thing about this troublesome foe. While in certain instances fear is good and helpful, it’s also part of the messed-up wiring we all have due to the fallen nature of man. God knows this, which might be why “fear not” is one of the most oft-stated instructions in the Bible.

But have you ever noticed that it’s not a command that comes with impending punishment if it’s not followed? Instead, it’s the reassuring statement of a loving heavenly Father, who also happens to be the sovereign God of the universe.

When He tells us not to be afraid, we can rest assured that we have no need to be afraid.

And yet so often we are—for reasons far and wide, real and imagined, logical and irrational.

One of my favorite biblical personalities is Joshua, Moses’ assistant and eventual successor. One thing that has always intrigued me about his story is how often God reminded him not to be afraid (see Deuteronomy 31 and Joshua 1).

When I think about this, I can’t help but wonder why. Yes, the Israelites faced seemingly insurmountable challenges as they prepared to enter and conquer the Promised Land. Yes, Joshua was about to fill some enormous shoes.

But why was he, of all people, so afraid?

He had been with Moses for 40 years in the wilderness, after all. He’d witnessed the deliverance from Egypt, the parting of the Red Sea, the provision of water and manna. He’d gone up the mountain with Moses and experienced the glory of the Lord (see Exodus 24:13).

You’d think all that would be enough to bolster someone’s courage, wouldn’t you?

Did God ever tell Moses not to be afraid? I don’t think so—not in so many words. Moses had his faults—a temper, for one—but fear didn’t appear to be a struggle for him. But Joshua was different.

Maybe it had something to do with his personality. He was a great warrior, a strong leader, a person who wasn’t afraid to stand alone. But perhaps Joshua also was the contemplative sort, someone who needed more divine encouragement than his confident mentor.

According to Exodus 33, all the people were invited to visit the tent of meeting and “consult with the Lord,” but only Moses and Joshua actually did this. The fact that Joshua “would not leave the inside of the tent” even after Moses left suggests that he valued his time in God’s presence and recognized the true source of his strength.

Certainly, his life demonstrates what I wrote about here—that fear and faith can coexist in the same person (no matter what the clichés say).

Only God knows why Joshua apparently struggled with fear. And I love this about God.

He didn’t berate Joshua for being scared, question his faith or interrogate him about how he could possibly be afraid after all he’d witnessed and experienced with Moses. He simply repeated truth that Joshua needed to know and told him not to be afraid.

That was all.

I’m a tiny bit like Joshua, I think. I love spending time in the tent of meeting. I gain great strength and comfort from praising God. And, as I’ve already mentioned, I also struggle with feelings of fear at times.

But regardless of the source—an actual threat, imbalanced body chemicals, a lack of sleep, my own misperceptions, irrational thinking—these feelings are not the boss of me.

When fear becomes a problem is when it leads me to do something I shouldn’t do, or to not do something I should. When I hesitate to take the new medicine because I’m afraid of how I will react to it. When I fail to speak to someone because I don’t know how she will receive my words. When I don’t volunteer for something because I’ve never done it before, or because I think someone else can do it better. When I stay home from a conference that might encourage me spiritually because I don’t think I’ll know anyone.

Fear turns to faith when, despite my feelings, I take the medicine. I open my mouth to speak. I fill out that volunteer form. I put a smile on my face and walk into that crowded room.

No matter what fear—real or imagined—assails, God’s loving promise for Joshua is also true for us today: “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you. He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged” (Deut. 31:8).

♥ Lois

May 17, 2016 28 comments
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What to do When Your Mind is ‘Filled with Care’

by Lois Flowers May 10, 2016
by Lois Flowers

What do you do when you have no words? Not for another person, but for yourself?

Not about something tragic, but about the normal course of life. Not about a specific event, but about what was, what is and what might be to come?

magenta peony

What do you tell yourself when the emotions and thoughts and scenarios crowding your mind render you unable to articulate how you feel about any number of things, at any given moment?

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May 10, 2016 31 comments
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Welcome

As long as we’re here on planet Earth, God has a good purpose for us. This is true no matter how old we are, what we feel on any given day or what we imagine anyone else thinks about us. It can be a struggle, though, to believe this and live like it. It requires divine strength and eternal hope. And so I write, one pilgrim to another, in an effort to encourage us both as we navigate the long walk home together.

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