Last year, Molly’s school had a weekly program designed to help students become more comfortable discussing issues such as sadness and anxiety that can often lead to bigger problems like poor school performance and substance abuse.
While the “Everyone Struggles” sessions may have been useful for kids who enjoy talking about their feelings and troubles in front of their fellow sixth-graders, Molly hated them. My reticent daughter knew she could “pass” on any question that came up, but the very idea of sharing about such personal things in front of people at school frustrated her to no end.
Ironically, I don’t think it would be an exaggeration to say that Molly struggled more with “Everyone Struggles” than she did with anything else last year. Despite her understandable resistance, however, the program’s premise is true: everyone does struggle with something.
For adults, it could be keeping a clean house or getting enough sleep, chronic depression or overeating, back pain or making ends meet—the list of possibilities is endless. And no matter the struggle—from mundane to life-threatening—it’s somehow comforting to know that others are dealing with the same thing.
Not too long ago, my blogger friend Lyli featured this post of mine in her weekly e-mail newsletter. When I wrote back to thank her, I told her that her kind words were encouraging because blogging has been a bit of a struggle for me lately.
Her response, which she has graciously allowed me to share here, came as a surprise.
“Blogging is ALWAYS a struggle for me,” she wrote. “Most Thursdays I sit down with absolutely zero to say and stare at the computer for at least an hour before anything comes. I fight for every sentence. So you are not alone in the struggle!”
Lyli’s candid answer totally debunked my perception that blogging is easy for everyone but me. People who are good at it might make it look easy, but it takes effort and consistency and creativity, week after week after week.
It was a good reminder that just because I think people have it all together doesn’t mean every area of their lives is all roses and rainbows. In fact, one thing that has become abundantly clear to me this past year is that we are all the walking wounded.
We may not look like it. But every one of us has hurts and pain and struggles that we have to face and deal with. Some are obvious, some are not. Some might be things happening to us directly or to someone we love.
Certain seasons of life can pose more challenges than others, but no one is immune.
Everyone struggles.
I get why middle-school students might not want to discuss their personal problems with their classmates. Nobody benefits when adults hide their struggles from the world, though, including the person doing the hiding.
For Christians, especially, transparency opens the door to personal ministry like nothing else. We don’t have to share our life stories with everyone we meet, but when we have the opportunity to use our hard experiences to comfort or encourage, we should at least consider it.
So when people compliment you for something that is difficult for you, tell them. Not in a falsely humble way that minimizes your skills or negates their kind words, but in a way that illuminates the fact that everyone struggles.
Who knows? Hearing about your struggle might be just the thing they need to keep persevering themselves.
♥ Lois
One thing that has become abundantly clear to me this past year is that we are all the walking wounded. Share on XP.S. I’m linking up this week with #TellHisStory, Coffee for Your Heart, Chasing Community, Faith on Fire, Faith ‘n Friends and Grace & Truth.
26 comments
Amen to this Lois! Everyone struggles with something, and while our “somethings” may be different, they are no less hard or less important. Thank you for sharing this!
That is so true, Laura. Hard is hard, isn’t it?
Everyone does struggle, but so many believers do so alone. Not only do we have God who is our constant companion, but He put us in a family of other believers who (if functioning correctly) can help us carry our burdens so we don’t feel alone. I think we need to work hard at developing genuine relationships with other believers (and not give up!) so that we can do for others exactly what the NT describes… that is love one another as Jesus as loved us.
Amen, Karen! Thank you for adding these important thoughts to this conversation …
It’s so true that everyone struggles with something, however it looks on the surface. I definitely go through stages of struggling with blogging too- sometimes the words just flow and other times it’s really hard work. I agree, there is so much benefit when we can share some of our struggles and encourage one another. Thanks for the way you do that here!
Thanks, Lesley … you do the same at your site, my friend!
Oh thank you for these words that are so true and necessary! God keeps asking me to be willing to share from within my weaknesses, when I would much rather not! But you are so right, that the encouragement comes as we are able to bear each other’s burdens, coming alongside in the difficult places. This was such a confirmation for me, in what God had me sharing on my own site today. Blessings to you!
I’m glad my words were a good confirmation for you, Bettie. I read your post and learned so much about what it’s like to suffer from fibromyalgia … please keep heeding those prompts to share from within your weaknesses. I know it can be hard, but you’re right … that’s where true encouragement comes from!
Yes, yes, Lois. Let’s keep giving each other heaping portions of grace. Let’s ratchet down our self-expectations, and allow ourselves fallow seasons where we just sit back and soak in the nourishment we yearn for.
And let’s not feel like we have to write unless we really want to do so.
Sometimes the best thing we can do is close the laptop down and simply go do the next right thing. Even and especially if it’s just to curl up and take a nap.
Bless you, friend.
Curling up for a nap sounds wonderful, Linda … especially on this rainy, almost-spring day! Your words are a gentle balm, my friend. Thank you!
I definitely struggle with blogging at times. Sometimes the words flow, sometimes I don’t like them, and sometimes they have dried up!
Yep, that pretty much sums it up for me too, Sarah. 🙂
Yes, I also have seen so many times that transparency can open the door to ministry and encouraging others. What a beautiful gift of encouragement Lyli gave you!
Lyli’s words definitely were a gift, Betsy! I hope your week is off to a good start, my friend!
Isn’t it funny how often the things we think other people make look easy are what those other people struggle with? So much truth and wisdom in this post, Lois! Thank you!
Yes, Bethany … that is pretty ironic, isn’t it? 🙂
Thanks for sharing this, Lois. I needed to read this!
I’m glad, Pam! 🙂
I forgot–blogging is a struggle for me too. I think it’s a thing.
Yeah, it must be! 🙂
A few years ago, I began singing as part of a duo rather than a team for worship. I had to learn to sing harmony, which after 40 years of singing nothing but melody, was humbling and foreign. My kids and my husband were usually present as my partner and I warmed up and ran through songs before our service on Sundays. One day after church my husband said, “It’s good for the kids to see you struggle. It’s good for them to see that people do things that don’t come easily to them and that adults struggle, too.” I prefer to struggle through things in private and then bring them into the public eye once I have mastered them. This is a good reminder of one reason that’s not the way to go. Thank you for that. I had forgotten.
Natalie! Kudos to you for learning harmony after 40 years of singing melody … I try alto myself occasionally, but my ear isn’t good enough to do it very often. I totally understand your desire to save your best for the public eye, but I also think your husband is on to something. It’s so beneficial for our kids to see people struggling before they succeed, and it is even better when they see US doing it. 🙂
“We are the walking wounded.” Such truth in that, Lois. I never would have thought that blogging was a struggle for you. Though I don’t really want it to be that way for you, it is comforting to know that I’m not alone. If I remember right, Molly is the more reserved of your girls, right? That must have been so hard for her. I think kids need someone to share their feelings and struggles with, but not just anyone and everyone. Someone who truly cares and understands. Love and hugs to you, Lois!
You’re right about Molly, Trudy … she definitely is the more reserved of our two girls! And I’m glad you find comfort in knowing you’re not alone in your blogging struggles. 🙂 I hope your week is off to a good start, my friend.
I understand not wanting to talk about things at school, even church or counseling. That’s why I urge people just to talk to the Lord, and I do link ups with Lyli Dunbar, I’d never think blogging was a struggle for. I don’t have that problem, I probably have too much to say.
Yes, Rebecca … talking to the Lord is a wonderful way to work through our feelings, whatever they may be. So glad you stopped by last week!