How Embracing God’s Love and Timing Helps Us Overcome Rejection

Inside: In this Q&A interview, novelist Jeanne Takenaka talks about listening well, handling rejection and how stories come to life. ~

It doesn’t happen very often, but for me, one of the blessings of blogging is connecting with fellow bloggers in person.

This is how I met Jeanne Takenaka. We first got together for lunch when she was attending a writer’s retreat in my area. We met again when my family was vacationing near where she lives in Colorado. Somewhere along the way, we started chatting on the phone regularly, and she has become a dear friend.

After many years of working on her craft, Jeanne has achieved some notable goals lately. This year, Guideposts will publish two of her short non-fiction stories in two separate books, fulfilling her lifelong dream to write for them. And last fall, she also won a Genesis Award for her latest romance novel, which her literary agent is currently pitching to publishers.

(To be considered for this prestigious prize, writers submit the first 15 pages of their manuscripts for two rounds of judging. Unpublished finalists and winners can add this award to their writing résumé, and they often find literary agents and publishing house editors more receptive to discussing their writing projects.)

On her blog, Jeanne shares heart-felt articles about parenting (she has two college-age sons), fear, rejection, trusting God and other relatable topics. We visited about some of these subjects recently, and today I’m delighted to share that conversation with you.

Learning to Listen

LOIS: One thing I appreciate about you—maybe because I’m struggling to develop it myself—is your commitment to listening well. To your sons, especially, but also to others. Have you always been such a good listener? And if not, how did you learn this skill?

JEANNE: Honestly? I learned this skill from my husband. When we first began getting to know each other, I tried to finish his sentences, to show I was tracking with him. The thing was, I usually inserted the wrong words!

He is intentional in the words and ideas he expresses. As we grew in our relationship, I learned how important and affirming it is to him to not interrupt while he is talking. When I cut him off, it speaks disrespect to him. I’ve tried to use this practice in all my communications.

It’s not always easy. Especially as women, we tend to cut each other off and finish sentences. This can be acceptable sometimes, but when it happens to me, I struggle with feeling like what I wanted to say was considered unimportant. I want others to know I value their thoughts, so I try to listen without interrupting.

Overcoming a Rejection Mindset

LOIS: Speaking of female tendencies, your writing also touches on the theme of rejection, which I think is a particular pain point among many women. Could you briefly describe how, as an adult, you’ve been able to overcome the rejection you experienced as a child?

JEANNE: I’m still prone to a rejection mindset, but I do so much better than I used to. It’s been a slow journey of coming to understand how God sees me. He began by using a friend to share a visual that there was a gaping wound in my heart. As soon as she shared this, God showed me that wound was the rejections I’d faced over so many years.

That very moment, I asked God to heal it.

The overcoming happened slowly, as I recognized the thought processes that came in a situation where I felt rejected. Recognizing my thoughts and asking God to help me see them through His eyes helped. I had to learn how to reframe what I was perceiving and thinking so that those thoughts and perceptions lined up with God’s truths.

LOIS: What are some of those truths?

JEANNE: That I am significant to Him, simply because I am His daughter. That He loves me perfectly, passionately, completely—no matter what I do or don’t do. He can’t love me anymore than He already does because He loves me completely right now.

Stated another way, I think the most important thing that had to happen for me to overcome the impact of rejection in my life is that I had to embrace the truth that God cherishes me—and each of His children.

Trusting God’s Timing

LOIS: Switching gears just a little bit, how do you handle the inevitable rejection that comes with the writing life?

JEANNE: I’ve been writing long enough to know there will be rejections on the journey. When I face a rejection, I give myself a day or so to feel the sting of disappointment. I talk with God about it. And then I get back to work, whether it’s working more on the same story or beginning a new one. I move forward.

One of the biggest truths that has equipped me to handle rejection is that God’s timing is always, always perfect. He knows each writer’s journey, what He wants them to learn, what He wants to say through them.

Trusting Him on this journey has really helped me not sink into discouragement or want to throw in the proverbial towel. At least, not for very long!

Another thing that has helped is having writing friends who understand the tough side of this writing journey. Listening to their encouragement and perspectives has helped me to shake off rejection and keep moving forward.

When Stories Come to Life

LOIS: Where do your ideas for stories come from?

JEANNE: I love it when a story idea takes hold in my mind, maybe from something a friend shares with me, a newspaper article or something else I come across online. When a thread comes to life, my thoughts go a little crazy as I explore it to see what might work for a novel is fun.

LOIS: Do you ever draw from ideas from your own life and experiences?

JEANNE: Yes, there are stories of my heart, as I like to call them, that reflect real-life struggles, journeys taken, and reminders of God’s faithfulness. If there’s something that makes me tear up for the beauty of God’s presence in it, I’ll probably want to craft that something into a story to share with others.

Writing On

LOIS: What is it about writing that keeps you writing?

JEANNE: Since the time I was a teen and read a “forbidden book,” I have wanted to write. When I began blogging, I found it was a sweet way to share my heart for encouragement with others and to offer truths about God and Christian living with those who would read my words.

I love story. And learning how to write fiction has been a great joy and a path to deeper intimacy with God. He has taught me so much on this journey that I could not have learned anywhere else. He gives me inspiration and a love for writing, even when the path forward is hard or disappointing.

I think I keep writing because God gives me the desire to continue, even when I’m discouraged. He’s also gifted me with priceless friendships with other writers—both fiction and nonfiction—that spur me onward on this journey.

LOIS: I’m thankful for our friendship, Jeanne, and I look forward to seeing where God takes your words in the coming months.

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You can read more of Jeanne’s writing—including this wonderful article about understanding our worth—on her website, Jeannetakenaka.com. She would love to connect with you there or on Instagram at @jeanne_takenaka. Feel free to leave her a comment below as well.

♥ Lois

P.S. I’m linking up this week with #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.