How to Pray for a Grieving Friend

Inside: Do you struggle for words when praying for grieving friends? Try asking God to help them in areas that were difficult for you during your own seasons of sorrow.

I don’t have specific stats to back this up, but it seems as if the first few months of 2023 have been marked by an onslaught of grief and loss.

Off the top of my head, I can think of five people I know who lost close loved ones, three of them unexpectedly. And that was just over a few weeks in January and February.

At a Loss for Words

When I tell these friends I am praying for them, I mean it. But in the dark of the night, when sleep eludes me and they come to mind, I sometimes grasp for the right words.

Perhaps you know the feeling. You pray for God to be with your grieving friends and loved ones. (Though you sometimes wonder if this prayer is redundant because He has promised never to leave us). You ask Him to strengthen them, comfort them, sustain them through this dark valley.

He does and He will. But what else?

Looking Back

My mind goes back to when I was the grieving person, reeling and overwhelmed after my parents died. We didn’t lose them suddenly, but suddenly there I was: an orphaned adult.

I had never known grief like this before—sleep-stealing, strength-sapping, sorrow-spilling sadness. Many parts of my life carried on as always, but it was as if a thick, heavy blanket covered me everywhere I went.

When a friend would tell me she was praying for me, it didn’t take away the sorrow or change the circumstances. But it helped.

Just Knowing

The exact words of those prayers didn’t matter—at least not to me. In some mysterious way, it eased my pain simply to know someone else was lifting me and my sorrow before our heavenly Father. Both in the immediate aftermath of the loss, as well as months and years down the road.

If we’re unsure how to pray for our friends, we might ask them if they have any especially pressing requests. That said, given the nature of grief, there’s a good chance they might not be able to articulate a specific need on the spot.

Another option is to ask God to help them in areas that may have been difficult for us during our own grieving seasons.

For Example

We might pray that …

• They will be able to sleep at night.

• God would physically strengthen them for the day ahead.

• They will be able to see through the fog, even if it’s just far enough for the next step.

• They will have clarity to think straight when they need to, and wisdom to make the best decisions they can.

• There will be people in their lives who are willing to listen to them talk about their loss and their loved one. (These might sound like similar topics but aren’t necessarily so).

• They will find comfort and grace when the what-ifs and regrets pile up.

• God will give us opportunities to care for them in their grief, in ways that are comforting to them.

• • •

How do you pray for your grieving friends and loved ones? What prayers meant the most to you when you have been in that same sad spot? Please share in the comments …

♥ Lois

P.S. I’m linking up this week with Sweet Tea & Friends, #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Recharge Wednesday, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.