How to Pray When You Feel Like You Can’t

Inside: There are moments and seasons in our lives when praying is the last thing we want to do or even feel able to do. But could it be that we sometimes make it harder than it is? ~

The older I get, the more I’m realizing the importance of long-haul living.

It makes sense, right? Although James 4:14 describes our lives as vapors that appear for a little while and then vanish away, most of us will have many decades to learn and grow and experience joys and hardships of all sorts.

Instant gratification and immediate results are not realistic goals, especially when it comes to marriage, parenting, fitness and even prayer. If we want to be successful, however success is defined in these and other areas, we must be in it for the long haul.

Long-haul Goals

In some ways, we’re like the Olympic athlete who spends countless hours in the gym or swimming pool, doing the same exercises over and over again, hoping all the work will eventually result in a gold medal. Except instead of a coveted piece of hardware, our goals include things like better health, closer relationships, a more godly character and a stronger faith.

Long-haul living can get monotonous and wearisome, though. Sometimes even excruciatingly difficult. It comes with unforeseen struggles and setbacks, changes we never saw coming, heartbreaks both expected and devastating.

At times, we’re tempted to quit walking, to quit reaching out, even to quit praying—temporarily or altogether. Some of these activities flat out require persistence on our part. Encouragement from a friend or loved one might help, but we’re the only ones who can place one foot in front of the other or pick up the phone and send a conciliatory text.

Not Alone

Thankfully, we’re not on our own when it comes to prayer. Romans 8:26 shares the comforting truth that, when we’re weak and don’t know how or what to pray, “the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.” (emphasis mine)

Here’s how I imagine this. The Holy Spirit takes our prayers that are offered sincerely but based on limited human understanding, and He filters them through God’s goodness and sovereignty before the heavenly throne.

Because of this, both His intercession for us and the resulting answers are based on what is best for us, according to divine providence.

Mysterious Truth

I have no idea how this works, but I do believe it’s true. Even when it comes to those things we never would have chosen for ourselves or for a loved one.

Our Advocate knows what we need even when we don’t and somehow translates our deepest longings and questions before the Father in such a way that enables God’s will to be done in our lives. He facilitates our continued communication with God when, as a sermon I heard recently described it, “all we can do is groan.”

This is hugely comforting to remember, especially when we’re laid bare, void of energy or completely out of words.

But I Wonder …

What if, when we find ourselves nearing that point—when we feel like we can’t pray or don’t know what to say—we start with that? In the form of a prayer like this: Lord, I can’t pray. I don’t know what to say. I got nuthin.

Yes, there are moments or season in our lives when praying is the last thing we want to do or even feel able to do. But could it be that we sometimes make it harder than it is?

God created us, so He’s well aware we are frail and finite, weak and frequently anxious. Psalm 103 says He knows how we are formed and remembers that we are dust. I doubt He spends much time judging the quality of our petitions and grading the wording of our supplications.

How to Start

The truth is, if we’re able to talk to people at home, at work or even online, we are equipped to talk to God.

Again, when you feel like you can’t pray, start there. Tell him why. Tell Him what’s going on.

Simply begin.

If speaking the words out loud is too intimidating, write them down. It doesn’t have to be formal or fancy. It could even be in the Notes app on your phone as you wait in the doctor’s office.

Just Between You and God

Feel free to delete the words as soon as you tap them out so no one but you and God will ever know they were there.

He already knows every word before you speak it, scratch it out on paper or type it on a screen. But He also tells us to cast all our cares upon Him because He cares for us.

And can I add one more thing? Don’t just try it once.

Keep it Up

Most of us have probably heard people say something like, “I prayed and God didn’t answer so I’m not going to pray anymore.” But sometimes it takes multiple conversations to get to know someone. To develop that rapport, that comfort level with sharing beyond a surface level.

Why wouldn’t it be the same with God?

Worst-case scenario? You finish feeling the same as you did before you began.

But you might figure out that you had more to say to your heavenly Father than you realized. You could come to experience the peace that surpasses all understanding.

And perhaps you’ll even find yourself better equipped to live life for the long haul.

♥ Lois

P.S. I’m linking up this week with #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.