Learning to Adjust to an Unexpected and Hard Change

Inside: I didn’t plan to quit running this year. Then my knee started acting up and I decided the best way forward was on a bike. The switch was more difficult than I imagined it would be, for many reasons. ~

About a year ago, we learned about a massive infrastructure project our city was planning to undertake just down the road from our house.

Aside from some occasional detours, the most significant inconvenience about this project—from my perspective anyway—was that part of the trail I had run on since 2020 would be closed and I’d need to find a new route.

I wasn’t really looking forward to this, but I knew it was coming. What I didn’t expect was to stop running altogether.

When Spring Arrived …

I started envisioning potential new routes and even considered taking some practice runs to find an equivalent distance. Then, a few weeks before the heavy equipment started rolling into the neighborhood, my knee started hurting.

It’s acted up in the past, but the pain always went away after a while. This time was different.

After limping around for a few weeks, I went to the doctor.

Disappointing News

I was hoping for an easy explanation, a shot of something that would put me out on the trail again in no time flat. The PA looked at the X-ray and listened to me talk about how much I enjoyed running. Then she gave me a healthy dose of reality.

“A knee replacement is in your future, and it’s going to be lifechanging,” she said bluntly.

She meant the bone-on-bone arthritis in my knee would get worse, and when I eventually had the knee replaced, I’d have to find a new form of exercise. Either that or run the risk of wearing out the new joint and needing another new one, which wouldn’t work as well as the first replacement.

Now’s the Time

Google revealed a wide range of opinions whether you should run after a knee replacement. In my case, though, genetics spoke louder than the internet.

To date, five of my six siblings have had at least one joint replaced. I’d prefer to put off the apparently inevitable surgery for as long as possible, which meant the time to stop running was now.

I went to physical therapy for several weeks. I dutifully did my assigned exercises at home. I visited to the local bike shop and found a nice used bicycle.

A Difficult Change

It wasn’t physically hard to quit running. I just stopped going outside in the morning.

Emotionally, though, the change was more difficult. I wasn’t expecting the feelings of loss that came with it.

The funny thing is, I never planned to run on the trail in the first place. For years, I read books while I jogged on my treadmill in the basement. It was the perfect setup.

What Happened

Then Lilly wanted me to run outside with her while she was home during the Covid shutdown. And how do you turn down an opportunity to spend time with your daughter who would be leaving for college in a few months?

Although Lilly is a wonderful coach, switching from the treadmill to the trail was one of the most challenging things I’ve ever done, physically. But when she went away to school that fall, I kept after it.

Bit by bit, I went farther and got stronger. Bit by bit, I grew to love it.

And Now, I Miss It

I miss the efficiency of it. I miss how I felt when I was done, the sweat pouring off my face that assured me I was doing something good for my body even if I never seemed to get any faster. I miss running with Lilly when she’s home.

I’ll be honest: Giving up running put me into a funk for a while. I knew I needed to keep moving, but biking was tougher than I expected. I had to figure out a new morning routine. Plus, it didn’t help that my knee still hurt.

That said, I’m not the first person who’s had to adjust to something like this. In the grand scheme of transition and loss, what I was experiencing was minor, to say the least. Eventually, I decided I needed to stop complaining and be thankful instead.

A New Perspective

As I said before, I never expected to start running outside, much less grow to enjoy it. For four years, I had the opportunity to do it. It made me stronger and brought me closer to Lilly.

I’m also grateful for how biking is both stretching and blessing me. I’m learning to navigate around obstacles on the trail and to be on the lookout for what might be coming around the next bend (including oblivious teenagers who remain oblivious even when I’m directly in front of them).

I’m getting used to wind resistance (so much wind resistance!), and to yelling out “on your left”—sometimes multiple times—as I come up behind people jogging or walking their dogs.

I’m starting to recognize other “regulars” on the trail—the older man who walks in dress pants and a button-down shirt, the friendly women with their dogs, the couple on bikes. When we smile and say hello, it makes up for the others who never even look up.

Natural Blessings

There’s birdsong and fall foliage. And then there are the deer. Four or five, grazing in a clearing by the trail. One, right by the path, who stands there watching with big brown eyes as I ride past.

When I was running, I sometimes stopped to take a picture of a beautiful sunrise. Now, even if I were fast enough to retrieve my phone and get a photo of the deer, I don’t even think about it.

I simply enjoy the view.

What’s Next?

I don’t know what I’m going to do this winter. Ride as long as the weather permits, I suppose, and then start walking on the treadmill.

As for my knee, my only sibling who has not had a joint replaced recommended a supplement to try. I started taking it, and happily, my knee feels pretty good.

I don’t know how long this will last, but for now, I’m thankful.

I always wanted to run like the wind. Now I’m riding into the wind. I guess there really is a season for everything.

• • •

Have you ever experienced a relatively minor change that was unexpectedly difficult to adjust to? Please share in the comments. And keep an eye out for a follow-up post about how this change fits into an entire summer of little transitions, and what I’m learning from all of it.

♥ Lois

P.S. I’m linking up this week with #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.