Looking Back, Can We Find Joy in the Worst Times?

Inside: As years past and healing happens, it often becomes easier to see the good that was present in the middle of the very hardest days. ~

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.” ~ Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

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For a long time, I described 2019 as the worst year of my life.

My mom and dad died in the spring of that year, five weeks apart. The months leading up to their deaths were full of one unexpected medical crisis after another. The whole experience was intense, exhausting and excruciatingly sad.

I thought it would never end, long after the funerals were over.

Another Perspective

Yes, 2019 was a hard, hard year for my family. Five years later, it probably still qualifies as the worst year ever. But it might be better to paraphrase Dickens and say while it arguably was the worst of times, in some ways it was also the best of times.

Maybe it’s due to my optimistic personality, but I often look back at tough times and remember the good things too. Like eating my mom’s Italian meatballs in the family room of my childhood home when I was 22 and recovering from my first major abdominal surgery.

Or how Randy lovingly took care of me following several more surgeries after we got married.

Joy in the Sadness

In the months before and after my parents died, I remember family visiting from all over the world. Two funerals that were just about perfect. Speaking at my dad’s service. A long-awaited vacation to Alaska. Reconnecting with a dear friend from college while there.

I look back and recall the sadness, the if-onlys, the utter exhaustion. Of course I do. But I also remember the beauty. The times of togetherness. The many opportunities to reflect with loved ones about my parents’ lives and legacies.

I’ve asked myself, Am I trying to spin things to make myself feel better, or is this truly how I see it now?

I miss my parents terribly, but this is how I see it now. It was the worst of times and the best of times. And sometimes, the best times are those I remember more.

When the Grief Softens

I’m not trying to convince anyone that their worst year wasn’t terrible. Nor am I suggesting that they will ever stop thinking of it as the worst, for any number of reasons.

Some losses are so deep and profound that the pain never goes away. But if you are grieving, I encourage you to hold fast to the truth I experienced—you won’t always feel how you are feeling today.

The familiar verse reminds us, “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” (Psalm 30:5, NKJV) It may not be tomorrow morning, or the morning after that, but it will come.

And as the grief softens, the memories will grow warmer. Especially if the hope of heaven resides in your heart.

♥ Lois

P.S. I’m linking up this week with #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.