One Step to Take When You’re Down or Discouraged

Inside: When life gets discouraging, searching for evidence of God’s goodness and faithfulness in past hard seasons gives us hope and helps us persevere. ~

I came down with Covid in mid February. A week later, after most of the physical symptoms had passed, I found myself in an unexpected low spot.

I don’t know if it was the virus or the fact that my body was missing its much-needed exercise routine. But I was feeling worse, mentally and emotionally, than I had in a long time.

Logically, I knew the negative thoughts swirling in my head weren’t true. I reminded myself why I was feeling this way. I prayed. I told myself, “This too shall pass”—again and again.

The self-talk helped some. But I remained frustrated and discouraged.

Lightbulb Moment

As I was trying to articulate my struggle to Randy, I had an idea.

“Can I tell you every single thing that is wrong or that I am feeling bad about?” I asked him as he sat a few feet away, looking up vintage Corvettes on the Internet.

My longsuffering husband barely missed a beat.

“Yes, I will listen,” he said, choosing his words carefully, “but you might need to get help from someone else.”

I’ll spare you the details, but many of my disparaging thoughts had to do what I had done with my life thus far. When Randy said “someone else,” he meant a friend who had successfully navigated the empty nest stage of life after being a stay-at-home mom for many years.

What Happened Next

Happy that he agreed to listen, my penchant for organization kicked in.

“Maybe I’ll make a list and share the list with you,” I said, picturing what would amount to the opposite of a gratitude list.

To his credit, Randy simply said OK.

Not every bout of discouragement—temporary or long-term—ends like this. That day, though, just knowing I could write down every last thing that felt rotten at the moment and share it with my husband somehow made me feel better.

It gave me an option, something tangible to do if I chose to.

A New Perspective

It’s been a few months, and I still haven’t made that list. The emotional roller coaster that had been jerking me around soon slowed and finally stopped. By that time, another message had taken root in my heart.

Remember the goodness.

When we’re stuck in the fog of sickness, uncertainty or discouragement, it’s easy to start questioning our circumstances or life choices, even ones we’ve always believed were sound. Asking God to show us the truth about those decisions is helpful.  So is reflecting on seasons where His goodness was abundantly evident.

It also can be beneficial to switch lenses and intentionally zoom in on parts of our past where God’s lovingkindness might not be immediately obvious.

Where to Look

My mind goes back to years of infertility, long waits to complete two adoptions, job losses and moves, seemingly endless hormonal challenges, learning to parent two daughters who are vastly different from one another, my parents’ last years and months.

Where’s the goodness in all that, you ask? Once I start remembering, I can hardly stop.

The providential order in which our daughters came to us. The myriad blessings that flow from their unique personalities. The flexibility that came with unexpected—and sometimes unwelcome—transitions. The way God answered specific prayers about buying and selling our homes over the years.

The closeness that developed between my dad and me in my mom’s last years. The support of immediate and extended family when my parents were declining. The relationships between my girls and their cousins that probably wouldn’t have grown as much if my parents’ health crises had not prompted so many visits from relatives.

Finding the Goodness

This type of thinking may flow more naturally if you’re a glass-half-full type person. Most of the time, though, I think we can all find a few specks of good in the bad or the hard, if we only take the time to look.

The more we look, the more we see evidence of God’s goodness and faithfulness. And the more we see, the easier it is to trust that “surely goodness and mercy will follow [us] all the days of our [lives].” (Psalm 23:6a, emphasis mine)

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Whether we are currently experiencing a high, a low or a “somewhere in between,” remembering the goodness helps keep our focus where it belongs. As you think back over your life, where can you spot God’s goodness during a hard or challenging season?

♥ Lois

P.S. I’m linking up this week with Sweet Tea & Friends, #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Recharge Wednesday, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.