There are days.
Days when I feel like I used to feel, back when I used to feel bad quite often.
I know why I feel this way, usually. It has to do with cycles and hormones and medicine designed to stabilize and replace. In an ideal world, all this would work perfectly, all the time. But this is no perfect world.
So here I am, dealing with side effects and after effects and just plain old effects of having arrived at a season of life earlier than most.
I could be dealing with worse things. Much worse things. I know that, and Iβm thankful.
Still. I donβt like feeling this way.
I text Randy: βFeeling baddish.β
He texts back: βSorry.β
He knowsβwe both knowβthis too shall pass. The sun will come out in my heart tomorrow, or very possibly after lunch.
Pardon the clichΓ©, but it really is the nature of the beast.
When Iβm feeling like this, for no other reason than my own temperamentalΒ body chemistry, thereβs something I do that helps. I donβt do it every time, because sometimes my moping exceeds my ability to think outside myself very well.
But I did it today.
Youβve probably heard the famous line, βI think, therefore I am.β Itβs attributed to Rene Descartes, aΒ 17th-centuryΒ French mathematician and philosopher.
Iβm not an expert inΒ math or philosophy. I will never come close to developing anything like the x-y plane (also known as the βCartesianβ coordinate grid) that Descartes developed to meld algebra and geometry. Nor can I tell youΒ what he meant when he said, βI think, therefore I am.β
I can, however, use his words as a springboard to a little strategy Iβve come up with for massagingΒ some good out of myΒ funky mood.
βI feel, therefore I pray.β
There are plenty of people around me who are struggling. Maybe theyβre flat worn out. Maybe they have deep hurts. Maybe they have suffered great loss. Maybe they look far out into the future and see nothing but gray.
Like me, they feel bad. Unlike me, their feelings arenβt as transient.
When I’m feeling like I am today, I turn my thoughts towardΒ them. And then I pray.
I donβt alwaysΒ know what to pray, what they specifically need right now. So I ask God to provide for them, to help them feel His presence in a special way, to comfort them when they are sad, to give them wisdom and grace, to bring people to them who will encourage their hearts.
God knows what they need, and He knows what I need, too. He knows what it sometimes takes to push me out of my own head and into the world of other peopleβs suffering.
I feel, therefore I pray.
P.S. I’m linking up today with Holley Gerth at Coffee for Your Heart, Jennifer Dukes Lee at #TellHisStory and Kelly Balarie at Purposeful Faith.
18 comments
I really like this post. Found your blog through Holley’s.
I’m so glad you stopped by, Melody!
Lois, I love that line. I feel, therefore I pray. Yes! Feelings go to Jesus and then he reworks us to walk through faith. Amen! Cheering you on from the #RaRalinkup on Purposeful Faith.
And isn’t it wonderful how, through the process you describe, He replaces our gloom and despair with peace and hope?
Oh I hear you, Lois … praying for you even as we speak. May knowing that you have kindred spirits here and there that support you be a great boost.
And may a good walk outside strengthen your spirit!
It’s definitely a boost, Linda. Thanks so much, and blessings to you today as well!
I feel, therefore I pray. That’s great. That’s all we need. It’s simple and to the point. But take heart…once menopause sets in (I was thrown into it after a hysterectomy, but kind of there before), your mood stabilizes and you have less of those “baddish” days. I know them…hope and pray that the “goodish” days begin to come more and more for you! Thanks for sharing your struggle.
Thanks for the encouragement, Mary! It’s always nice to hear from someone who’s been there and can offer hope for better days ahead!
I spend many a night awake when I desperately need sleep, due to a chronic disorder I live with… and yes, those are the times I could weep and moan, or I could sit up and do something that takes my eyes off me for a while and allows my frustration to be channeled elsewhere, and lifting others up in prayer can do it every time.
Often these prayers are not my prettiest, they’re kinda all over and not eloquent in the slightest, but it’s my heart resting in Him while I pray that makes the change. Love how you write, Lois, very much related to every sentence! Lord bless you bigger than big this week!
Visiting from #TellHisStory
Christine, sleeplessness is so hard … I’m sorry you have to go through that. But I appreciate how you’ve chosen to handle it … what a great example of turning something frustrating into something spiritually productive! Thank you so much for stopping by … it was lovely to meet you!
I think therefore I pray! Can’t think of a better message for me an overthinking gal (seems part of the female ‘issues’..). A Bible verse comes to mind, “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” (Prov 23:7). A heart full of prayer…a wonderful picture! Blessings.
That’s a great verse to add to this conversation, Sandraj. I sometimes forget how connected our minds and emotions are, and how what we think often affects how we feel. From one over-thinking gal to another, thank you!
Lois- Thank you for sharing this journey. I’m right there with you and understand the struggle. Yes, this too shall pass, but it’s real and it’s heavy. You are doing the right things… being honest about it, putting it to words, and praying. May God bring you unexpected joy today! Thanks for sharing- beautifully written!
Thank you for your kind words, Karen. It’s comforting to know I’m not the only one. π And God did bring joy today … through comments like yours and an uninterrupted hour working in my flowerbeds!
Lois,
I was nodding my head as I read because I can relate…and your response to pray is a great one…you open yourself up to God’s grace and you are giving grace to another as you pray…I’m sorry you are not feeling well and I pray God will lift your spirits and give you a sense of His arms of love around you and His loving gaze on you π
Your words today (as always) are a blessing, Dolly. Thank you so much!
Girl, I have spent the last three days in a funk. As well as prayer. God is good to use those funks as a time to get quiet and focused on him. He is good to spring me into direction I need to be moving. He is just good, even when my emo’s are not. Thank you!
So true, Samantha! I hope the fog lifts for you soon. π And thanks for stopping by!