Survival Skills for the Wilderness Seasons

Inside: In this Q&A interview, blogger Michele Morin talks about God’s sovereignty, managing Parkinson’s disease and how parenting has clarified her theology. ~

On the surface, my blogger friend Michele Morin and I are, well, as different as different could be.

She lives in Maine, I live in Kansas. She has four adult sons, I have two young adult daughters. She homeschooled her children; my girls went to public schools.

She has a flourishing vegetable garden; I have never successfully grown a tomato plant. She’s a gifted book reviewer; I’d rather go to the dentist than review a book.

Kindred Spirit

For all the differences, though, when I read her words at Living Our Days, I sense a kindred spirit. Not only because she appreciates C.S. Lewis and can a turn a phrase in a blog post like nobody’s business. I also value the wisdom of someone who is further down the parenting path than I am, who humbly holds fast to biblical truth, who rests in God’s sovereignty even when life doesn’t make sense.

Michele was recently diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. She weaves this journey into her writing here and there, which—in my view—has made her words even more relatable and encouraging. This is where we began when, via email, we had the following conversation.

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LOIS: What was your initial reaction to your diagnosis?

MICHELE: Sometimes being a pessimist is helpful. (However, I prefer to think of myself as a realist.)

For a year or two before my actual diagnosis, I had been paying attention to a slight tremor that involved only my right thumb. It was annoying but didn’t interfere with anything, so I just took note and moved on. I suspected Parkinson’s or something neurological, so I was relieved that it wasn’t a tumor or something worse.

Managing Parkinson’s disease is a little bit like having a part-time job. Regular exercise is the only factor proven to slow the progression of the disease. And I have a terrific physical therapist who prescribes movement to counteract the pain, stiffness, imbalance and tremor.

There’s no question that Parkinson’s disease is continually in the business of taking. Even so, in slowing me down and forcing me to think about activities that used to be automatic, it leaves behind the gift of simply being, balancing and breathing.

So I stand on one foot every morning and at the same time, I’m paying attention to the arrival of the light outside my kitchen window. I practice big movements and lie on the floor to stretch and strengthen. And all the while my heart and lungs oxygenate my blood without my having to lift a finger!

When the actual diagnosis came, it wasn’t a surprise, but I do remember asking God, “What are you thinking?” After all, I have a full and hectic life with kids, grandkids and a church family who depend on me, a ministry of teaching and writing that I love, and a husband who’s expecting to retire with me in a few years.

God’s response was swift but gentle: “Trust me.”

That’s my assignment.

LOIS: I suppose that is the case for all of us, isn’t it? Individualized lessons plans from the same loving Father? Did you have any hesitation about working your Parkinson’s journey into your writing?

MICHELE: Maybe it’s because I’ve been pretty open about so many of my challenges as a mother and a believer, but I don’t think it ever occurred to me NOT to write about the diagnosis and the management of the disease. It took me several months to get used to thinking of myself as a person with a chronic condition. But right from the beginning, it was clear to me that this particular affliction had been measured out to me for my good (somehow!).

Even more important, God was very present with His unique blend of strength and comfort. He “who comforts us in all our affliction” has in His mind the privilege of equipping us to “be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God” (2 Corinthians 1:3-5, ESV).

LOIS: That’s such a comforting, helpful perspective. Looking back over your life–as the mom of four boys, as well as other roles and challenges–can you pinpoint a few ways God may have prepared you for this season?

MICHELE: My orientation to time is always toward the future, so this question required some digging and rummaging around in the past. Like a lot of young adult evangelicals who were coming of age in the 80s and 90s, I think my theology was larded through with a mixture of prosperity gospel and the prayer of Jabez.

Then I had children!

During a particularly intense season of homeschooling and parenting, I remember clearly the day I “heard myself” praying for my four sons, and it sounded like a page out of someone’s name-it-and-claim-it playbook.

I was asking for successful auditions, strong athletic performances and admission to the college of choice as if all this were my greatest hope in life.

When parents pray over an open Bible, the words of Scripture wrap themselves around the desires of our hearts and give us the words we don’t have. Therefore, while I would love to live on a planet where the “Christian kids” get full scholarships, never total their vehicles, marry believers and stay true to the faith for their entire lives, that is not what the Bible describes or promises.

Paying attention to my responses as a parent and being actively involved in the lives of fellow believers through the church I call home has been deeply clarifying to my theology. “Bad” things happen. Sixty-one-year-old grandmothers with full and challenging lives get Parkinson’s disease.

The question for me, then, is this: “What am I going to do with it?” Railing against it in anger or falling into a puddle of self-pity are not reasonable options given the existence of a God who is both sovereign and good.

LOIS: What a journey! The learning never ends, does it? As we wrap up this conversation, how does your belief in God’s goodness and sovereignty guide you, both on your own walk home to heaven and also as you seek to love your family of adult children as best you can?

MICHELE: This is a well-timed question because I’m working on a talk for an upcoming speaking engagement called “Survival Skills for the Wilderness.”

One thing I’ve noticed about myself and others is that no one ever volunteers for a wilderness, faith-testing experience. Yet we learn from the Old Testament that God does not take his people into the wilderness to abandon them there. The pathway of adversity is designed to show us what is in our hearts.

John Newton remembered his long wilderness days as “the Lord’s school.”

God wanted to make His people intensely conscious of their dependence and His power, so He met them there with the water of His grace. I will serve my family (and my readers) most faithfully by asking God to give me eyes to see what He provides as good, courage to relinquish what He withholds and faith to envision what He wants me to become as a result of the challenges He sovereignly assigns to me.

LOIS: The folks who attend your speaking engagement are in for a treat, Michele. Thanks so much for being with us this week.

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Friends, if you’ve been encouraged by Michele’s story, feel free to leave her a message in the comments. If you’d like to read more of Michele’s words and soak up more of her wisdom, you can find her here.

♥ Lois

P.S. I’m linking up this week with #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.

Photos provided by Michele Morin.