What Happens When We Try to Speak to Everyone

Inside: Modifying our words because we’re afraid of what our readers or listeners might think doesn’t make our message stronger; it dilutes it. Try this approach instead. ~

A few years ago, I read a book by an author a few decades younger than me. As I turned the pages, I got frustrated because she kept making generalizations that didn’t represent my feelings and experiences at all.

There are ways, when writing, to avoid this kind of tone. It can be as simple as starting a sentence with “many of us” instead of “we all.”

More than once, though, I had to remind myself that I was not her target audience. I read the book because I was interested in it, yes, but she wasn’t really speaking to me. And that was perfectly fine.

It’s true no matter our message or platform, role or venue:

We Can’t Be All Things to All People

We can’t write for everyone.

We can’t speak to everyone.

We can’t anticipate every possible reaction to every statement and address it before someone leaves an aggressive comment.

And this is all OK.

But it’s Tempting to Try, isn’t it?

Especially in a day and age when vast swaths of society seem to be hyper-sensitive about everything.

We don’t want to hurt or offend anyone, anywhere, in any way, so we try to include everyone. We caveat. Explain. Couch. Do everything possible to cover all the bases.

Unfortunately, this often just confuses the issue or dilutes whatever message we might be sharing.

Fortunately, There is Another Way

When I write about losing my parents, for example, I do so from the perspective of someone who had a good relationship with her mom and dad. I understand this is not the case for everyone, but trying to cover a wide variety of parent-adult child dynamics in every post would be tedious, to say the least.

Details are important, of course. But if we try to include everyone else’s stories in what we share, we would inevitably leave someone out. The way I see it, it’s better let people find themselves in what we share, rather than to put them there ourselves.

This takes a bit of confidence that we often lack. It takes believing that we have something helpful to say to some segment of the population, however niche it may be.

A Word of Advice

For followers of Christ who want to share their thoughts and convictions while also living “at peace with everyone” as much as possible (see Romans 12:18), here’s one word of advice: “Have courage and be kind.”

You may recognize this as a quote from Disney’s 2016 Cinderella, but I think it also applies to people who communicate in today’s culture.

We need courage because if we write to avoid every possible negative or challenging reaction—or every feeling that may come up when we draw from our wells of painful experiences—we’ll never say anything. We need to be kind because our message—whatever it may be—will fall on deaf ears if we are not.

The bottom line is this: We should always be careful with our words. But it should be the fear of God, not of man, that serves as our filter.

• • •

Do you every struggle with trying to be all things to all people? How do you handle the tension between speaking or writing what you’ve feel called to share and the need to do so graciously? And how do you respond when your words garner a less-than-positive reaction? Please tell us about your experiences in the comments.

Finally, while a single human can’t speak to everyone, God’s Word can. My friend Barbara writes about this in an encouraging post called One Book That Can Speak to Everyone.

♥ Lois

P.S. I’m linking up this week with #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.