What I Learned This Summer

by Lois Flowers

This has been such a weird season that I seriously considered writing a post called “What I Failed to Learn This Summer.” I’ve actually started such a list, and maybe I’ll post it sometime.

However, in the interest of keeping traditions during a time when so many have been postponed or altered, I’m sticking with Emily Freeman’s original quarterly prompt and sharing what I did learn this summer. Beginning with an observation that I never would have dreamed of writing about prior to Covid-19.

• I have a small head.

This is a fact, not a criticism. I don’t wish I had a different head, nor am I hoping that people will reassure me that my head looks perfectly fine the way it is.

That said, in this age of mask wearing, being an adult with a smaller head is a bit of a challenge. The child-sized masks I’ve tried pinch my nose (which is decidedly not child-sized), and most adult masks are much too big for my face.

I think I’ve finally found a mask that will work, but it took a while. And I will not be sorry when I don’t have to wear it anymore.

• I’m very thankful for the people in my life who are comfortable with silence.

This occurred to me several weeks ago when I was reading You’re Not Listening: What You’re Missing and Why it Matters by Kate Murphy.

“To be a good listener is to accept pauses and silences because filling them too soon, much less preemptively, prevents the speaker from communicating what they are perhaps struggling to say,” she writes. “It quashes elaboration and prevents real issues from coming to the surface. Just wait. Give the other person a chance to pick up where they left off. … You get so much more out of interactions when you allow people the time and space to gather their thoughts.”

I love the talkers in my life, of course, but not everyone can be silent for long periods of time in the company of others and be totally OK with it. My dad was this way, and so is my younger daughter. As I see it now, it’s a gift.

• Making steamed dumplings is easier than you may think.

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you may recall that last spring, my girls and I taught ourselves how to make French macarons. It was a fun and tasty experiment that gave us—or at least me—a good bit of confidence when it comes to trying recipes that I’ve previously considered intimidating.

So when I asked Molly to look through my favorite food blog and pick out some dishes that might help me as I figure out how to cook for three instead of four, I was actually kind of excited when she chose Japanese Dumplings.

Dumplings are one of the few dishes that everyone in our family embraces enthusiastically. But I’ve never used wonton wrappers in a recipe before, and getting the dumplings into a shape that, well, even remotely resembles dumplings always seemed above my skill level.

Molly has never met a how-to video she doesn’t like, though, so with the aforementioned food blogger’s guidance, we decided to give dumplings a shot.

I mixed and prepped, Molly worked her magic with the wonton wrappers, and soon a skillet full of dumplings was sizzling on the stovetop. The end result was definitely worth the effort (and possibly even better than we’ve had at a restaurant).

• The build-up to a Very Big Thing can seem more stressful, emotional or difficult than the actual thing.

This isn’t the case every time, of course, but it’s happened to me enough now that it seems noteworthy. It can be some kind of anniversary or milestone, the start of something new or the ending of something enduring. It doesn’t even have to be an event or situation that others would consider significant.

Whatever it is, we can be assured of this: God will meet us there—in our anxious anticipation or stomach-churning dread—and He will strengthen us for what lies ahead.

• Taking your first child to college for the first time is a highly individualized experience.

It doesn’t hit all moms the same, or all dads. Not every parent cries all the way home, or much at all. We worry about different things ahead of time, and for different reasons. Personality plays a role, and so does how this transition played out in our own lives.

It’s still early in the process for us, and while only God knows how anybody will feel in a month or two, it seems to be going well on both ends (at college and at home).

At this point, I’m grateful for grandparents who have prayed, for friends and mentors who have invested time and love into my girl’s life, and especially for the assurance that the God who began a good work in her heart and mind so many years ago will carry it through to completion.

Although I suppose I could come up with a few other lessons that have to do with quarantines and trusting God during a pandemic, I think I’ll leave it at this. But I am anxious to know about you. If you’ve learned something this summer—anything, really—please share it in the comments.

Lois

Whatever Big Thing we're dreading, we can be assured that God will meet us in our anxious anticipation and strengthen us for what lies ahead. Share on X

P.S. I’m linking up this week with Purposeful Faith, #TellHisStory, InstaEncouragements, Recharge Wednesday, #HeartEncouragement, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.

Leave a Comment

18 comments

Lesley September 6, 2020 - 3:44 pm

I loved reading about what you’ve learned, Lois! Well done with the dumplings – they look amazing! And I love those friendships where you can sit with silence.

Reply
Lois Flowers September 6, 2020 - 6:47 pm

Me too, Lesley. And thanks about the dumplings … I couldn’t have been surprised–and happy–with how they turned out!

Reply
Mary Geisen September 4, 2020 - 2:17 pm

I love your cooking adventures. You tried two recipes that I don’t feel qualified to make.

I imagine taking a son or daughter to college in this current climate looks very different than when I took my oldest to college. However, the emotions run the test of time. I am praying for all college students so they feel safe but also are able to participate in the college experience.

Reply
Lois Flowers September 6, 2020 - 6:46 pm

That’s my prayer too, Mary. I know–and I’ve tried to prepare Lilly–that the experience as it’s going now could end at any time if there’s a Covid outbreak or something. I 100 percent hope that’s not the case, though! And as far as being qualified to make those recipes, I don’t think I was qualified either .. at least not on my own. It definitely helps to do it as a team, especially when one teammate is good at piping (Lilly with the macarons) and another is good at crimping dumplings (Molly). 🙂

Reply
Laurie September 4, 2020 - 11:40 am

I’m with you on the small-head thing, Lois! Most adult masks are too big for my face too. The first set of masks I got (I bought from an Amish lady) I had to tie a knot in the elastic. Then I got some adjustable ones and they are much better. I will certainly not miss wearing them either!

Good luck to your daughter in her first semester of college. And good luck to you, Mom. I cried for half an hour each time we dropped one of the boys off at school!

Reply
Lois Flowers September 6, 2020 - 6:42 pm

Thanks, Laurie! I definitely miss having Lilly around, although it does help a lot to know she seems to be thriving at college. And I’m so glad to know I’m not the only one for whom head size is an issue when it comes to masks! 🙂

Reply
Barbara Harper September 3, 2020 - 1:42 pm

Somehow I have never tried dumplings. Maybe because most of the Asian restaurants we’ve gone to are Chinese rather than Japanese? Are they specifically Japanese? I don’t know, but I’ll have to look for them next time. Those look really good!

I agree about needing to remain silent in some conversations instead of rushing to fill the quiet space. I agree, too, that anticipating something can often be worse than the thing itself.

That’s a big milestone to have your first at college! Glad the adjustment seems to be going well and I pray it continues.

Reply
Lois Flowers September 6, 2020 - 6:37 pm

Good to hear from you this week, Barbara. So about the dumplings … the ones we made specifically were Japanese, but they are often served at nicer Chinese restaurants too. They’re sometimes called potstickers, I think. Or just steamed dumplings. I hope you are able to find some … they ARE really good! Hugs, friend!

Reply
Wemi Omotosho September 2, 2020 - 4:06 pm

This was fun to read and those dumplings look yumm!

Reply
Lois Flowers September 6, 2020 - 1:23 pm

Thanks, Wemi. And yes, the dumplings are SO good! 🙂

Reply
Sharon Hazel September 2, 2020 - 2:17 pm

This has been a summer of being stretched – in learning new tech skills, and developing in my writing but, more importantly, in it all God teaching me more about myself. Maybe now I should try making macarons? (preferring sweet to savoury :))

Reply
Lois Flowers September 6, 2020 - 1:22 pm

Why not, Hazel? 🙂 If you decide to try them, you’ll have to let me know how it goes. (It took the girls and me six tries before we FINALLY got it mostly right, but of course we ate all the attempts except the macarons that had pencil lead all over them!)

Reply
Jeanne Takenaka September 1, 2020 - 10:00 pm

This was a fun post, Lois. I learned how to create my website, and how to ask for help with the things that were above my understanding. I’m still trying to figure out a few minor details, but it’s mostly done. 😉

I also learned the beauty and essential-ness of getting away from life to enjoy God’s creation. We went to the mountains as a family in August. I learned how to shoot a paintball gun, and how to read my boys’ strategies so I could avoid some of their colorful bullets.

Reply
Lois Flowers September 6, 2020 - 1:21 pm

Jeanne, I’m VERY impressed with your new website and that you learned how to create it. I hope the minor details get worked out soon. 🙂 I’ve got an issue with my blog theme that requires an expensive fix, so I’m instead looking for a NEW theme. Such things make me a bit dizzy, but we’ll see how it goes. So glad you were able to get away to the mountains last month … and learn paintball skills on top of that!

Reply
Michele Morin September 1, 2020 - 7:12 am

How’s everything going on campus?
Once again our stories intersect. Ours left this morning in a loaded Honda. I keep reminding myself that he will be back Friday night with dirty laundry, but can’t shake the weight of this moment.

Reply
Lois Flowers September 6, 2020 - 1:18 pm

I hear you, Michele. On campus, things are going well … so well, in fact, that our girl has no desire to come home anytime soon! We hear from her very regularly, though … via email, text, SnapChat, FaceTime and even Zoom … communication sure has changed since I was in college! I’m quite sure if we were close enough, our laundry room would be open for college business too. 🙂

Reply
Joanne Viola September 1, 2020 - 7:10 am

Lois, the dumplings look wonderful! The big lesson I’m learning is that our God is with us in every season and no season takes Him by surprise. So simple and yet, at times I forget 🙂 May this season of change be a blessing to you and your family!

Reply
Lois Flowers September 6, 2020 - 1:13 pm

I can definitely relate to your big lesson, Joanne … it’s been an ongoing one for me as well, and such a comfort! Thanks for your kind words … I hope September is off to a good start for you!

Reply