What To Do When You Long for Encouragement

Inside: It may seem counter-intuitive, but here’s a good way to proceed when your efforts are overlooked or you feel unseen. ~

When my girls were younger, the Golden Rule often came up in my conversations with them.

Whether the situation involved kids at school, each other or some stranger on TV, “How would you feel if someone did that to you (or said that about you)?” was a question worth considering, especially during stages of their lives that were especially me-focused.

It’s biblical, this concept of treating others how we would like to be treated. It’s right there in Matthew 7:12, in bright red letters: “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.”

Poor Me

Even so, when it comes to my own reactions to perceived slights, I’m inclined to bypass the Golden Rule and proceed straight to feeling sorry for myself.

When something I’ve said or done—my presence when I’m not normally there, my absence when I normally am, a fresh haircut, a new blouse, a sad countenance, a question in a text, how much effort I’ve put into something—is overlooked or not mentioned, I’m tempted to get hurt feelings.

On rare occasions, the affront is intentional. Most often, though, it’s not.

People Are Busy

They don’t always notice everything that is important to us. They may notice and forget to mention it. There could be any number of reasons.

In these cases, I need to remember how much I care for these people and give them the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes, I need to get over myself and stop being petty. Perhaps a reminder that the world doesn’t revolve around me is in order.

But always, I need to look for opportunities to do for others what I wish someone would do for me, and then do it.

It’s counter-intuitive, I know. But it’s the only way I know of to take the focus off myself and carry on about the business of living in a way that honors God.

Anyone Else?

I won’t ask for a show of hands, but I wonder if you might be able to relate to what I’m saying in some tiny way. If so, can I just pass on a version of what I share with myself from time to time?

If you are an encourager who needs some encouragement, keep encouraging.

If you are a helper who could use a little assistance, keep helping.

If you are a prayer warrior who needs prayer, keep praying.

If you are a cook in need of some nourishment, keep cooking.

If you are a giver who could use a present yourself, keep giving.

If you are a card sender who wishes someone would mail you a note, keep sending those cards.

If you are a listener who wants someone to hear you, keep listening.

God Sees

Just keep doing the things God has designed you to do. Even when they seem small to you, even when it seems like nobody is noticing, even when you desperately wish someone would return the favor.

Don’t ever believe the lie that what you’re doing doesn’t matter, that nobody would miss it if you stopped.

Because you are making a difference.

And God sees it, even if you can’t.

♥ Lois

P.S. This piece was adapted from a previously published post. Also, this week I’m linking up this week with #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.