When You’re Responsible but not in Control

My church is doing a sermon series on Daniel, the Old Testament book that is centered squarely on the theme of God’s sovereignty.

I sit in the service next to my 17-year-old daughter, a junior at a large public high school, and the current cultural relevance of this powerful portion of scripture practically hits me over the top of the head every Sunday.

She’s paying attention, and I know she feels it too.

I don’t rub shoulders every day with people whose worldviews are vastly different from mine, so while I find them helpful, the points that apply directly to Lilly’s life aren’t necessarily the same ones that press into mine. Rather, as I find myself moving further into a season that epitomizes the term “Sandwich Generation,” it’s something my pastor said when he introduced the series that keeps running though my mind.

“You’re responsible, but you’re not in control.”

I can’t think of a better way to describe my role as I assist my parents in this rapidly declining stage of their lives. I’m in charge of handling their affairs and keeping a close eye on their care. When it comes to the perplexing health problems that they’re both experiencing, however, there’s not a whole lot I can do.

I’m responsible, but I’m not in control.

This doesn’t just pertain to taking care of aging parents, of course. It applies to all of life—rearing children, taking care of our bodies, serving as citizens and employees, managing our households, doing ministry work and everything in between.

We’re responsible, but we’re not in control.

Here’s what happens when I forget this truth. When I think I’m in control, I desire to have control or I fear losing control, I tend to micromanage. I roll out my own solutions without waiting for the right answer to present itself. I set my expectations on certain outcomes. I grasp tightly to my agendas and schedules. I fear the future and dread the unknown.

This is no way to operate, I can assure you. It’s stressful, anxiety inducing and frustrating, for me and the people around me.

On the other hand, when I remember that I’m responsible but it’s God who is in control, I’m free to do what I need to do without agonizing over every little detail.

I engage the process. I advocate for my loved ones, young and old. I offer opinions and ask about possible solutions. I change my plans when something comes up. I pray for specific miracles (and sometimes ask others to join me).

Through it all—and especially when I have no idea what to do next—I pray for God’s will, not mine. I pray for wisdom.

And I pray that the sovereign Lord of the universe would direct my steps as only He can do, that He would strengthen my legs for the path that He has laid out for me, and that He would give me courage to walk on that path wherever it leads.

♥ Lois

P.S. I’m linking up this week with Purposeful Faith, #TellHisStory, Let’s Have Coffee, Faith on Fire, Faith ‘n Friends and Grace & Truth.

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