Words of Hope for Your Weary Heart

by Lois Flowers

A few weeks ago, while searching on my computer for something I wrote several years ago, I ran across a file from August 2008 titled “What I Wish.”

2008 L and M

I don’t recall every detail from when my children were small, but I clearly remember writing this piece. Lilly had just started first grade. The year before, she had attended morning kindergarten and usually took a much-needed nap in the afternoon. Now that she was going to school all day, the nap was no longer possible.

To make matters even more memorable, 3-year-old Molly also had elected to outgrow her nap at the same exact time.

While all this nap dropping was going on, I was somewhere in the middle of my long and tumultuous journey through perimenopause, so change—especially change that involved a reduction in quiet time for me—was hard.

The Word document I stumbled across wasn’t long. The opening paragraph was one sentence: “What I wish someone who means something to me would tell me right now.”

As I read through the little list I had written, it occurred to me that there are—at this very moment—other women who need to hear the same kind of direct affirmation that I longed for back then.

The nap thing might not apply, but the rest? Absolutely relevant.

I never did find the file I was looking for originally, but maybe that wasn’t the point of my search. Maybe the point was finding this, for you. So you can take it to heart and be encouraged yourself. Or so you can share these thoughts with someone else who desperately needs to hear them.

Ready?

• You’re not going crazy.

• I can see that you are having a very hard time.

• You will get through this.

• You can handle this.

• You’re doing a good job.

• It’s hard when children drop their naps.

• What you’re going through doesn’t make you a bad mother.

• What you’re going through is normal.

• It’s going to be OK.

• Your children are going to be OK.

• You are going to be OK.

• It will take you awhile to get used to things but you will eventually.

Eight years later, I can tell you I was right—about all of this. As it always is, God’s grace was sufficient through each and every season. It wasn’t always sunshine and roses, but we survived and (more often than not) even thrived.

Now, with one daughter about to start high school and another beginning middle school, we have a whole new set of changes coming up. In the following weeks, I may need to write myself a whole new list of encouragements.

Better yet, maybe I’ll reach out to a friend who has already been down this road a time or two. I didn’t do that before, but I know better now.

Next week, I’ll offer a few thoughts about elementary school, including my top 10 suggestions for moms who are navigating those energetic years right now.

Until then, I’ll leave you with my new favorite encouragement motto: If I can do it, you can do it!

Lois Flowers

P.S. Linking up this week with Kelly Balarie at Purposeful Faith, Jennifer Dukes Lee at #TellHisStory, Holley Gerth at Coffee for Your Heart, Lyli Dunbar at #ThoughtProvokingThursday, Crystal Twaddell at #FreshMarketFriday and Dawn Klinge at Grace & Truth.

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24 comments

Aimee Imbeau August 11, 2016 - 7:22 pm

Lois, I think many young moms need to hear this! I remember when the kids were young and I’d be so wrapped up in my life as it was, wondering if it was all normal…if they’d ever be toilet trained. If they’d ever stop wanting their soother. I remember not feeling confident as a mom and worrying if I was going to ruin the kids. If I had someone tell me the truth like what you have written here, it would have done me loads of good. Although – the lack of a good mentor forced me to fully rely on God;)
Thanks for sharing on Grace and Truth.

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Lois Flowers August 15, 2016 - 4:01 pm

Aimee, I’m glad I’m not the only one who has ever worried if I was going to “ruin the kids.” 🙂 Your comment has made me think of women who have poured into my life from their own experience and given me hope that what I was going through really was normal. I’m so very grateful for them! But I know what you mean about how the lack of a good mentor forced you to rely fully on God. I’ve had seasons like that too, and (in retrospect), I’m grateful for them too. Thanks for your kind words today!

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Crystal Twaddell August 11, 2016 - 8:11 am

Oh if we only had the gift of hindsight on the front end! You are so right, God’s grace is sufficient, and this is a wonderful reminder in the seemingly neverending daily struggles!

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Lois Flowers August 11, 2016 - 4:30 pm

Thanks, Crystal. Isn’t it wonderful how remembering God’s faithfulness in the past brings comfort and strength for today and tomorrow? Now if only I can just remember BEFORE I get bogged down in all those daily struggles!!

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Meghan August 5, 2016 - 10:45 pm

Lois, I just adore and appreciate this. I am one of those moms who needed to read this today, and possibly everyday I get up for the next number of years -ha! God bless you for sharing!!

Hanging out @ #FreshMarketFriday

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Lois Flowers August 8, 2016 - 10:28 am

Thanks, Meghan. I’m in the same boat about needing this every day … the circumstances are different now but the need for encouragement is still there! You can do it, my friend, and so can I! 🙂

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Alison Tiemeyer August 5, 2016 - 12:02 pm

Oh, this is simply beautiful. I don’t have kiddos yet so the nap-dropping doesn’t apply to me, but life if difficult none-the-less. Your words are a balm to a weary soul. Thanks for sharing! I hopped over from FreshMarketFridays!

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Lois Flowers August 8, 2016 - 10:22 am

Thank you, Alison. It’s nice to meet you this week … I’m so glad your weary soul found a bit of rest here! 🙂

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Julie August 5, 2016 - 10:00 am

Thank you for the encouragement today! I’m in the thick of all this with 5 kids. Some days its just a struggle to make it to lunch time;)
I’m so glad God gives strength whenever I ask for it. The key is to ask.
Stopping by from #FreshMarketFriday,
Julie

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Lois Flowers August 8, 2016 - 10:19 am

“The key is to ask.” That’s powerful, Julie. Here’s hoping the trek to lunchtime goes smoothly for you today! Thanks so much for stopping by!

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Debbie August 4, 2016 - 4:12 pm

I remember nap dropping and I’m in the middle of that now with two grandsons – the 3 year naps but not here and the 18 month old is still doing them.

God’s grace will continue through every season. My kids are in their 30s and He is still pouring it out.

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Lois Flowers August 8, 2016 - 10:18 am

Debbie, I love hearing from moms who are further down the path … it gives me courage and helps me realize that I can do it too, through Christ’s strength! So thank you for your encouraging words … and good luck with the nap-dropping!

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Betsy de Cruz August 4, 2016 - 9:27 am

Oh boy, do I remember that phase when the kids dropped their naps. But as I read over your list, I realize I need to hear some of those now, so thanks. 🙂

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Lois Flowers August 8, 2016 - 10:16 am

You’re welcome, Betsy! I need to hear them too … 🙂

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Karen August 4, 2016 - 9:11 am

Life is but a series of changes. My oldest daughter is moving out into her own place next month, and my oldest son is going to college in another state. It’s a state of change here. I still have 2 at home, but keep wondering what life will be not so many years from now when my career as homeschool mom is over. I just breathe in the truth you shared here “you are going to be OK.” thanks

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Lois Flowers August 8, 2016 - 10:15 am

Karen, I have a friend with several adult children who tells me that her current season of parenting has been her favorite so far. That gives me a lot of hope, especially on the hard days! Change is not my favorite either, so I’m breathing in these truths right along with you right now! It’s good to know we’re not alone, isn’t it? 🙂

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Kristi Woods August 4, 2016 - 8:39 am

Such affirming words. I love how you wrote them to yourself and now, those same words are being used to lift the spirits of others. That’s loving your neighbor in fine fashion, Lois. Enjoyed the visit, as always. #thoughtprovokingThursday

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Lois Flowers August 8, 2016 - 10:00 am

Kristi, I was on vacation last week and didn’t get around to commenting much, but seeing your name here reminds me that I really appreciated the guest post on your blog several days ago. 🙂 About those affirming words … it seems I need many of them now as much as I need then, so I’m thinking God had something to do with me stumbling across that file on my computer! Thanks for stopping by, my friend!

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Valerie Sisco August 3, 2016 - 11:29 am

Lois,
I’m not a mother but I find these sentiments helpful when I listen to my friends who are moms relate their frustrations and exhaustion. And Lois, your girls are just beautiful! I’m sure now they are just as beautiful young ladies — what a delight that you are their mother!

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Lois Flowers August 8, 2016 - 9:57 am

Valerie, your friends who are moms are truly blessed to have you in their lives … it’s so easy to get wrapped up in our own scenarios and not bother to think about what life is like for people on different paths. You clearly do not do that! Thank you for your kind words here, especially about my girls. 🙂

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Linda Stoll August 3, 2016 - 8:26 am

Good morning, friend! This is such an important post … we’ve chosen this kind of online platform and it’s such an ongoing golden opportunity to encourage and bless each other, right and left.

We all long for affirmation, for validation. May the bulk, the core of it come from our relationship with Christ. And then may that rich gift overflow and spill onto the lives of those we rub shoulders with, online and in the world around us.

And p.s.? Your girls are beauties!

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Lois Flowers August 8, 2016 - 9:55 am

I could not agree more, Linda! Especially what you wrote in the second paragraph–YES!!! Thank you for your thoughtful words, my friend, and for leading the way so graciously when it comes to online encouragement.

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Pam Johnson August 2, 2016 - 12:13 am

Thank you for sharing. This made my heart smile. 🙂

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Lois Flowers August 2, 2016 - 6:36 pm

The nap-dropping experience was from back in our MOPS days, Pam. Seems like such a long time ago, doesn’t it? I’m glad this encouraged you today!

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